The Shadow of Reality

The Great Eucatastrophe

2010-03-25T09:00:00.003-04:00

Our long journey together has led us to this day. The hope that's carried us through the joys and the hardships has culminated in this day and all that it will bring: a breaking of the past, a look toward the future, and unlimited possibilities.

According to Appendix B in The Return of the King, on March 25th, 3019 of the Third Age, the Ring of Power was destroyed, the Tower of Barad-dur crumbled, and Sauron passed from Middle Earth. The Captains of the West, fearing utter defeat from enemies far beyond their number, were instead victorious, and the King himself passed beyond the gates of Mordor in triumph.

This event is the great eucatastrophe in The Lord of the Rings novels – the greatest, in fact, though there are many others: the close encounter on Amun Sul and safe crossing of the Bruinen, the Ents march of war upon Isengard, the Rohirrim’s arrival on the fields of the Pellenor, etc., etc., etc. The word 'eucatastrophe' is a word coined by J.R.R. Tolkien, which he strongly felt needed to exist in order to explain some of life's greatest moments. There is, of course, this term 'catastrophe', which we use to describe when things turn suddenly from good to bad. But, we don't seem to have a term for the opposite. In other words, when the world looks bleak and all hope fails, there occasionally comes a great change for Good. We often have felt these moments throughout our lives (whether we acknowledged them at the time or in hindsight) and we need a word to describe these experiences. So, Tolkien added the Greek “eu”, meaning “good” or “pleasing”, to ‘catastrophe’ to create ‘eucatastrophe’ – a sudden change for the good.

For Tolkien, the great eucatastrophe in human history was the Incarnation: the idea that in the midst of insurmountable pain, suffering, and little hope, the God of the universe put on flesh and blood to set things right. (This was part of the argument that swayed C.S. Lewis on their famous Addison walk). The Incarnation of God in human form through Jesus Christ changes everything in history, and is exactly the kind of thing we hope for and experience on a smaller scale every day.

Many remember and acknowledge the Incarnation in December, when the birth of Christ is celebrated. But this is in error, for the Incarnation, when God became flesh, actually takes place at the Annunciation, the time at which an angel brings news to Mary that she is with child. Though Christ would not be born for nine months, the process had started at that moment, and hope was rekindled for all; God had arrived in our world. When the world looked bleakest and all hope had failed, there was a great change for Good.

A strong Roman Catholic, it should be no surprise that when he began writing of another world, Tolkien wove this consistent theme of eucatastrophe into its histories and characters. And, while he despised allegory, it is no accident or coincidence that he chose March 25th for the victory over darkness and despair in Middle Earth. For on March 25th in the Christian calendar, as tradition has held for millennia, we celebrate the Annunciation (and therefore Incarnation) of Christ.

Tolkien includes this date in the history of Middle Earth and The Lord of the Rings at least three times, and on each occasion he hints at its huge, life-changing significance. As we read in the Appendices to The Lord of the Rings, it was on March 25th that Gandalf met Thorin Oakenshield in Bree in 2941 and convinced him to return to the Lonely Mountain. It bears repeating here:

"Yet things might have gone far otherwise and far worse. When you think of the great Battle of the Pellenor, do not forget the battles in Dale and the valour of Durin's Folk. Think of what might have been. Dragon-fire and savage swords in Eriador, night in Rivendell. There might be no queen in Gondor. We might now hope to return from the victory here only to ruin and ash. But that has been averted - because I met Thorin Oakenshield one evening on the edge of spring in Bree. A chance-meeting, as we say in Middle-earth."

~The Return of the King, Appendix A

A "chance-meeting" indeed. This is a pivotal, eucatastrophic event in the history of Middle Earth. As this passage shows, this meeting greatly impacts the events that take place in the War of the Ring decades later, which also culminates on the 25th of March. It is not enough that the Ring of Power is destroyed on this day in 3019, but the armies surrounding the Host of the West flea in fear as well, and the great and terrible tower of Barad-Dur falls into utter ruin. Evil everywhere, it seems, is dealt a severe blow. The third great and concluding eucatastrophe takes place just two years after the Ring's destruction, on March 25, 3021, with the birth of Elanor, first daughter of Samwise. Elanor is beautiful and fair, and the future and lasting legacy of Samwise and, by extension, Frodo and Bilbo. All three of these events taking place on March 25th are consistent with the themes of the Annunciation and Incarnation: redemption, hope, and birth. It was a long journey for Gandalf, Aragorn, and Frodo, as it was for Abraham, Isaiah, and Malachi... and a long journey for us, too.

It is said that the people of Gondor, from that day when the Ring was destroyed, always celebrated the New Year on March 25th. Throughout history they would be in good company, as it would also be celebrated on that day by the Saxons, Romans, and yes, various groups of Christians in their acknowledgment that the Annunciation and Incarnation were the beginning of a New Age. Like the people of Gondor, we can celebrate - today and every day - a new year and a new age as we recall that we are given hope, freedom, and rebirth through Jesus Christ.

Book Review: Planet Narnia

2009-11-02T19:56:00.003-05:00

"In our world," said Eustace, "a star is a huge ball of flaming gas."

"Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is but only what it is made of."

(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Chapter 14)

There was this one time in high school where me and some friends were in the car headed out somewhere, and "Higher", by Creed, came on the radio.

Can you take me higher?
To the place where blind men see
Can you take me higher?
To the place with golden streets

Solid.

My one friend Brett and I immediately started talking about how "solid" it was. This one girl turned around, though, and matter-of-factly said, "What's so solid about it? It's the same four measures over and over again: it's completely unoriginal and boring. There it is again! What's so special about it? What makes it so good to you?"

Brett and I just kind of stared at each other for a minute, and then started into this explanation of the great meaning and poetry of the lyrics and how they reached a good peak just when the music did, and all this other stuff... but this girl wasn't really buying it. She was really into music and couldn't see how, musically, it was anything more than just a banal pop song. To Brett and I, there was a whole world of meaning in that little song, but it didn't excite her in the least. She didn't see it.

There is often quite a difference between what something is composed of and the feeling it evokes. To use a cliché: an object is more than just the sum of its parts. In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (the third book in C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia), the character Eustace is corrected on this topic. He was incorrectly associating identity and meaning with composition. Before he was gently rebuked, I don't think he would've liked "Higher" either.

I read the Chronicles of Narnia a lot when I was a kid, and I've enjoyed reading them even more as an adult. As an adult, I pick up on a lot more of the imagery, Biblical references, etc. that I missed as a child. I got the "don't be a traitor, be nice to your siblings, honesty is good" themes as a kid, but even now when I know these things I still feel a great sense of something as I read them: something that's more than just what's written there on the page, a sort of magnanimity that transcends merely the plot of the stories. But, to be honest, as many times as I read the books I still felt that they were pretty random at times. I mean, they're kind of fanciful, but it just seems like a hodgepodge of different myths and other elements, and there isn't always good resolution. And, they were popular: why stop at seven? Lewis could've continued on and given us more stories about The Golden Age of Narnia, or the beginnings of Narnia, or gosh, answering all the open-ended stories he has in there (how many times does he cop-out with a 'this isn't his story' kind of thing? A lot. C'mon, I want to know the backstory stories.)

Enter to this confusion Planet Narnia, a book released last year by scholar Michael Ward. It reads not as a book so much as an exhaustively researched thesis or dissertation, because that's what it started out as. In essence, the premise is this: the randomness that you sense when reading the Chronicles? It's not random. The hodgepodge of different myths floating in and out? Not a hodgepodge. Why seven? You'll find out. ;-) All of these questions can be answered when reading the Chronicles through a particular lens: one that is able to add to and enhance their reading. Ward admits that he's found no secret document, no hidden letter of Lewis' that had his intentions for the Narniad scribbled on them or anything - nothing like that. Instead, Ward is claiming that if you look at Lewis' entire corpus of work, especially his non-fiction Medieval books, his poems, and the Cosmic Trilogy, there are themes contained in them which appear even stronger in the Chronicles of Narnia.

I read the book a year ago and meant to put up a review then. As you can tell, I never got around to it. But, I've re-read some of the Narnia books recently and so have been thinking about it more lately. Make no mistake: it's a heady work. But, it's a must-read for anyone who's experienced inexpressible emotions when reading the Chronicles. It's so well-researched and convincing, it's not merely an approach to enjoying the books, it should be the approach to fully enjoying the books.

If you enjoy the Chronicles of Narnia because of what they say about certain virtues, or certain theologies, or anything else- if you're concerned, in other words, with what's just on the pages of the books, you should probably not read Planet Narnia. It will either go over your head, or at the very least will expose you to things that you'll wish you'd never heard of before you read it. Keep reading them on the surface for merely what they're composed of, and you'll remain content.

If, however, you enjoy the Chronicles of Narnia because of how they make you feel, you have to read this book. If you've felt something satisfying in your spirit as you've read the books, you may want to know why, and this book will help with that. I have a feeling you'll read it, read the Chronicles again, and think: "Solid!"

Free Advice #1

2009-10-21T19:56:00.002-04:00

I know I should charge for it, but what the heck - here's some free advice to anyone who may be working on a screenplay adaptation of C.S. Lewis' A Horse And His Boy:

Please, oh please, start the movie during the "race" where Bree & Shasta meet Hwin & Aravis.

It doesn't seem obvious, I know, but hear me out:

It gets the action going right away, with someone riding on a talking horse that's being chased by lions. Everything gets explained in short order to the audience.

It dispenses with problems associated with time - Bree & Shasta were supposedly traveling for weeks before this occurred.

It allows you to hear the backstory from the main character's mouths - Aravis tells their story (with Hwin interrupting) and Bree tells their story (with Shasta interrupting) in a more concise & direct (though still poetic) manner. In short, character development is so much easier.

It wouldn't drag down the whole movie. That could take all of 20 minutes, and then you've still got plenty of time for all of Tashbaan, the ride north, the hermit, the trip to Narnia, and the battle at Anvard. If you were start linearly and track the story from the beginning, it would take forever. Or, in an effort to be shorter, would be made more terrible (for how to make an adaptation terrible, please see Prince Caspian. Actually, don't torture yourself like that).

Unpacking

2009-08-27T13:18:00.004-04:00

Even though I've written of it before, and in spite of me going through it many times and it already being a week after I've left, I'm still at a loss as to how to properly end the summer and my experience at Casowasco. Most have already moved on, I know, but as I've unpacked physically, I still feel the need to unpack emotionally. Frankly, I'm unsure of how to do that. In The Return of the King, Frodo feels a similar sentiment:

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand - there is no going back."

I realize that I'm probably the only one left dealing with it: the old fogey who doesn't have anything better to do than sit around and mourn the summer. Judging from Facebook statuses, that feels true. For several days, I just sat and looked at my bags and piles of papers and clothes, knowing that they needed to go back where they belonged, but not wanting to put them there. Most, I know, have rushed on to unpacking and repacking for college, moving in, and picking up jobs and friendships right where they left off in June.

And I can't help feeling as though that's a mistake, somehow. I feel like we don't have enough time to ponder and reflect as we ought to have, and that we're at a loss whenever we go through an experience and don't unpack it. I understand, appreciate, and agree with the sentiment that we should live in "today" and not dwell in the past; I get that. But I still long for a way to feel more closure with the summer camping experience.

I'm well aware that this is mainly a personal problem. I'm conscious enough of my surroundings to appreciate that most of my colleagues are grateful for a return to "normalcy", and are excited to be back in the swing of things wherever they are. And, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't partially as well.

But, I also know that camp is a transformative experience: we work and live together, cry and celebrate together, worship and grow together. Because of this, we cannot so easily detach from our "summer job" like our friends can; it's just not like that. It's deeper, it's more meaningful, it involves deep friendships and personal growth. It was life-changing.

So I guess I just wanted to take a few minutes and mentally unpack. Moving on is necessary and important - I guess I just hope that we all still take the time to appreciate what we've been through, acknowledge the changes that have happened within us, and allow God to lead us forward.

Review: MacBook (white) 13-inch, Early 2009

2009-04-05T17:00:00.022-04:00

INTRODUCTION

Well, the MacBook came earlier than expected (last Monday afternoon instead of "Wednesday by 12pm"), and so I've been using it bit-by-bit since then. As you might expect, there's been both joys and frustrations along the way.

And I think that that's important to keep in mind: both joys and frustrations are to be expected with any sort of move to something unfamiliar - there will be some things that will be nicer, some things that won't be, and other things that just work differently. These are the things that make you to pause and think, "Well, that's stupid.", when in fact it's not stupid, it's just different. ::shrug::

I've encountered several of these so far, as you'll find below in this exhaustive review (well, you'll be exhausted when you finish it, that is). Please feel free to read it in chunks, if you're not up for a half-an-hour reading fest at the moment. So, gather round people, wherever you roam. Grab a chilled IBC (or, preferably, Ithaca brand) root beer, and ye shall hear of my tales of woe and elation. Yes, the times, they are a changin'.

UNBOXING

Before we get to the real deal, though (and I promise that this will come up for other reasons shortly), let's talk shipping. We ordered the computer in the late afternoon (EST) of a Wednesday and it arrived, FROM CHINA, on Monday morning. And, to be fair, it made it to the destination city early that morning. I think that's amazingly impressive. In loosely the same vein as a recent internet go-around, it used to take a year for people to go to China and back, and it usually involved people dying. So, let's give a shoutout to the Apple employees in Shanghai, as well as to the good people at FedEx. ::claps::

After receiving an e-mail informing me of its arrival, I went to pick it up and bring it home.

The shipping box is slightly smaller than the box my current computer came in when I bought it in a retail store. Surprising, but not monumentally so.

Opening up the shipping box, you see that the retail box is significantly smaller.

It's really a pretty ingenious way to ship a product like a computer. You could dent that shipping box significantly, without any harm coming to the retail box, let alone the computer itself. The triangular, cardboard box holders are really durable. They're a kind of cardboard/pressed board that you don't often see- just very dense and not cheap-feeling. I might use them for something else: they're that good.

Some size comparisons for you:

Moving on to the retail box itself, we see some tape on the outside of the box. It's really sticky. It's also got that "strong packing-tape glue" smell. Eventually it comes off, and the top unfolds like a pizza box.

I think I should mention here that I've looked at a lot of "unboxing" stuff online, so none of this was really news to me. But, I had really enjoyed the experience of unwrapping my iPod shuffle (1G), and knew that this would probably be similar. I might as well get it out of the way now: Apple provides, hands down, the best consumer product unwrapping experience, ever. Everything is made so that the consumer feels like they're valued, and that they bought some thing of value.

And so, we are met with the little (ostentatious, some might say. Not me, though) cardboard flap that proudly proclaims that this product was "Designed by Apple in California". That's just cool. I'm sure it meant a lot more when Apple started out and it really was a strange thing for a computer company to design and manufacture its computers in California, but I think it's still cool.

Little touches like that are all around: the packaging is simple, but secure. There's a nice quality black foam attached to the lid of the box that secures the laptop in the packaging, and even that is very aesthetically-pleasing. In contrast, I believe that my HP laptop came with some big blocks of Styrofoam and brown cardboard boxes.

Moving right along, we'll set the laptop aside for a moment while we investigate what's underneath.

Let's see, we've got a black cardboard pouch, and underneath that… a little white bag filled with what I'm assuming is the accessories I ordered: an Apple remote and a mini-DVI to DVI display adapter.

Accessories being included in the retail box was very surprising. I had expected them to be thrown in the shipping box, in their own individual baggies. But no - they were included in the retail box, in the same little bag. I think we can conclude a few things from this about the way Apple ships out its products and keeps an efficient inventory. The odds that Apple has a bunch of different baggies filled with a number of combinations of adapters and accessories has to be slim to none, and so the logical conclusion is that this was all done at the factory, a short 6 days ago. The factory's shipping area must just have a huge number of bins filled with computers, accessories, and boxes, and they put them all together as the orders come in. So, when Chen Jie saw my order, she got a remote and display adapter, sealed them in a bag, got a retail box to put them in, put in the black pouch and power adapters, placed the laptop in, and then closed the box and put tape on it, all in a matter of probably 15 minutes. It may seem like I'm blowing this out of proportion, and maybe I am, but this really impresses me. It just seems like such a contrast to my last buying experience, where I went to CompUSA, bought the advertised computer, and picked it up in a few days in an ugly brown cardboard box, with bits of styrofoam flecks on the computer and the accessories thrown in without care. Apple obviously has got things down to a science in their processing, and it feels personal. You could almost imagine the shipping person stuffing in a Polaroid of themselves or something in your box, and it wouldn't seem out of place for Apple.

In the black cardboard pouch, we find 3 things - two sides labeled "Everything Mac" and "Everything Else", and a black something underneath those two. Interestingly enough, the "Everything Mac" and "Everything Else" packets are two different shades of white. I'm not usually someone who'd notice that kind of stuff, but I did, so that should tell you something about how distinct they are. I later realized that it's probably because the "Everything Else" was a glossy disc pouch, whereas the "Everything Mac" was actually the matte paper user's manual. ::shrug:: Who knew?

In the "Everything Else" pouch we have a OS installation disc, an applications disc, and... stickers! It doesn't matter how old you are, stickers = cool. The problem as an adult, though, is where to put stickers: there's only so many surfaces I have that a) are going to be around for a while, and b) I want to use to promote a company. On the other hand, stickers help give a sense of ownership: it's all part of the experience. I didn't get any HP stickers with my last computer.

The black something underneath the manual and "Everything Else" pouch is wrapped in shininess. What is it, though? A cleaning cloth, maybe? If so, kudos to Apple. My HP screen gets quite dusty and dirty, and I seldom clean it because I don't have a cloth or similar object, and I've been too lazy to get one (or get monitor wipes). The question I had at this point was, "What about Applecare?" Didn't you used to get a CD with Applecare stuff on it? Maybe they just have a record of it? I guess I'll find out. (Update: it was all done online at the time of purchase.)

What to do now: read the manual, or unwrap the actual notebook?

I read the manual first. I wasn't sure if I had to charge the battery for a certain period of time before I used it or not (I did with my HP), and so I thought I should better find that out first. After I realized that it needed no charging, I turned my attention to the laptop itself. It was covered in a sort of foam paper, similar to the stuff that's wrapped around you at a dentist's office, but much nicer. There was a seal on the back discussing the software agreement and acknowledging that you agreed to it, which I thought was smart, because it was made of really thin paper and was impossible to open the laptop without ripping the paper. Maybe it's meant to be one more reminder that you shouldn't pirate or hack their software. Clever.

HARDWARE

The first thing that strikes you about the MacBook is its size: it's tiny, especially in comparison to my HP. To be honest, the size of my laptop never bothered me much. It's got a 15.4" display, is about the size of a 3 ring binder when closed (~2" thick), and weighs about 8 pounds. As such, toting it around wasn't that much of a problem; one-handed use was a bit onerous, but not impossible. When I got it, I wanted a large-ish screen, because it's all I use for watching movies & TV too. But, for church use, I didn't mind the 13" of the new MacBook. And so, even though I was used to this 15.4", 8 pound trooper, it's hard to not rename him in his retirement as "Mr. Chunky".

Yeah, it's a pretty huge difference. It's like the size delta between Duplo and Lego. I know that this isn't even a unibody construction like the newer Aluminum MacBooks, but... but wow. It's sort of heavy, but not heavy heavy... more dense than heavy. It's so well put together, so thin! As a point of reference, I had to take apart my HP to install the new fan back in January, and I got a really good look at its insides. Now, I haven't taken the MacBook apart or anything, but I've seen enough other people online do it that I know there's not much in there besides the essential components. The design differences are staggering. I guess you could say it's like the structural difference between an ant or a beetle and a human. The HP has this superstructure that all the components are fit into: there's braces and brackets and all sorts of junk. But the MacBook, it's just got this really tough exterior shell, you see.

::shrug:: Anyway.

The power adapter is also pretty small, especially in comparison to the HP's, which is not at all surprising considering its maximum draw is also half of the HP's: 60W vs. 120W. Yeah, I don't know if you've heard, but processors have made leaps and bounds in the last few years in terms of energy efficiency. The cords (especially the longer one) have a nice feel to them, and they wrap easily. The little fold-out prongs for wrapping the cord around the adapter are really helpful.

There was a nice foam sheet between the keyboard and display, which I had gotten on my HP too. The foam seemed nicer, but, ::shrug::... maybe it's just my imagination. I could ask my mom, though, since she kept the one from her HP laptop and always puts it back when she puts it away. ::minor eye-rolling::

The screen is glossy, of course. So is my HP's. They were just starting to become the rage about three years ago when I got it, and I haven't minded it too terribly.

I didn't check it out for the first few days, but I really enjoy the battery indicator on the bottom of the machine, too. It's a random thing, really, but I guess it's nice to know the battery level without having to turn the machine on.

FIRST BOOT

After the startup chime, Mac OS 10.5 ("Leopard") booted up and began the introductory set-up stuff. I ran to do something else quick, and when I came back there was a menu that asked me to choose a language. I had been away for a moment and hadn't touched the keys, and so it spoke to me! It said "Choose a language" or something, and I found that amusing and smart.

Then came the Leopard welcome video. Does it add anything to the experience? No, but it's just fun.

Then I was asked to register the product with Apple. Ugh. I hate registering for things like this. I'm always confused by them, because I'm not entirely sure what the information is used for. I also don't usually know how to change the information once it's done, and so I usually ignore it. I mean, do I put in the church's info, or mine? Does it matter? I think it'd be helpful if Apple (and everyone else) explained what the point of the Product Registration was.

Then I had to choose an account name. This seemed easy, until I noticed that it asked for a "name" and a "short name". Uh... huh? What's the difference? Why do I need to specify them? Are they case sensitive? Apparently so, since I used my name in both, the only difference between the capitalization of "K".

Then it gives you an opportunity to take a picture or video of yourself for your user account, via the integrated webcam. I didn't use it, because I don't generally like pictures of myself. But I thought it was pretty neat, and added a nice personal touch. In the age of online avatars and Facebook profile pictures, I think most people would appreciate this, though.

Oh, and there was also a bunch of questions about migrating data from another Mac and Time Machine (automated backup software), but I ignored those.

It logged me in automatically and so there I was, staring at the screen of my new Mac with nothing really in mind to do with it. Hmmm... Bluetooth was on automatically, so I thought I'd see how easy it was to transfer files from my Bluetooth-equipped phone. So I activated it on my phone and, voila! With a few clicks on each end, I was viewing the files from my phone on my computer. Wow. I had thought about buying a Bluetooth adapter for my HP for this, but it's just nice that it's integrated here.

I'm still a little befuddled as to what I should do. Hmm... How about Dashboard?

I set the clock widget to Eastern Standard time (which I realized afterward wasn't set by the system clock, so I had to change that in the System Preferences as well)

The Weather widget wouldn't correctly identify the city I input, which was strange: "No cities found." What? Not even by zip code?! The Yahoo Weather widget that I use on my PC does it, why can't you? ::minor sigh::

The Internet seems much slower compared to my HP: Facebook is taking FOREVER to load. I realize this is Safari 3 and not the Safari 4 beta, and I also just opened "Software Update", so maybe that's slowing the network down, but still…

While Software Update is busy looking for updates, I decide to check out the System Preferences. The trackpad seems slow, so I quickly scan and go into the Keyboard & Mouse settings. Wait a minute… it just has stuff about keyboards, there's nothing about a mouse! Going back to System Preferences main menu… ahhh, there's a separate preference for trackpad. Gotcha, I'm stupid. I just didn't see it at first glance.

Okay, there's tons of updates ready for the machine. Ugh. I start downloading them and since I don't know what else to do, I play a game of Chess to pass the time.

The trackpad seems a bit weird, too: even when the speed's amped all the way up, it seems slow compared to what I'm used to. It might just take getting used to a different surface and the pressure/etc. I have to use on it.

The contrast and color of the display seems off compared to my HP, a little "washed out" you might say. This is a little annoying because I know that my HP is washed out too, I just never knew how to get it really accurate. (Update: after a couple days I downloaded another color profile, and it seems much better. The contrasts and colors seem much more rich.)

While I was waiting for the Software Updates, I decided to start getting down to work. First, I needed to copy files onto my external HD to transfer them over to the Mac. So, that took quite a long time (transferring, oh, 4GB or so). While that was happening, I decided to check out some more widgets. I'd been using Yahoo! Widgets (née Konfabulator) on my HP for a couple years or so, and I generally like it. I've only got about four or five widgets, but it's nice to see some of that information at-a-glance. Those widgets, of course, live on the desktop, and not in their own visual layer like on Mac OS X. I'm not particularly attached to either format, but what does bother me about the Mac OS X iteration is that there's always a delay in the widgets "refreshing" themselves. Why does the calendar widget need to refresh at all? And the calculator? It's mildly irritating that there's always a stutter when you open Dashboard.

I also checked out the Apple remote. I explored a bit of Front Row, but of course I don't have any media there yet so it's kind of useless. Wait, what's the "sources" menu? ….ah, it's found my iTunes shared folder from my HP. Awesome. Let's see, I just put in the passcode with the remote (wait, maybe I could've used the keyboard? ::slaps forehead:: duh! Update: no, you can't. As soon as you type on the keyboard, it shuts Front Row) and… boom! Well,… not really. It's still loading it, after a few minutes. I mean, I've got a few thousand songs shared, so that might be the problem. Or, it might be that the HP's too busy sending files to the external hard drive to notice that it's supposed to be doing something else too, which is not outside the realm of possibility. Or, come to think about it, the network might be a little busy fetching all those software updates. Right.

Speaking of which, let's check out how Software Update's doing. ::sigh:: It's hung on the Airport update… I waited for over ten minutes for it to go from 1.7MB to 1.8MB, and it never got there. So, I stopped the download. ::sigh:: This is discouraging.

Apparently, Front Row isn't able to load my music, either. This is weird. I don't understand, I've shared my iTunes library multiple times, and never had a problem before. Ugh. Another unfortunate thing: overall, the MacBook seems sluggish :-/ It's mostly Front row, I guess, but still: it's got TWO processing cores of much more efficiency than my AMD Athlon-64, much better graphics, etc... what's the hold-up? It's not just Front Row - file browsing seems that way too. I'm not quite sure why… I suppose that maybe it's the trackpad that's still throwing me off. I.e., scrolling doesn't seem as responsive because I'm not scrolling in the "right" way. I do love the two-fingered scrolling, though.

Question about file organization that might drive me insane: is it possible to organize files by type in list view, or can it only be alphabetical? If not, that is a huge bummer. (Update: found out how to do that).

I started messing around with System Preferences again, and Software Update stalled again. Starting for the 3rd time.

I thought I'd try a DVD, so I started to put the DVD in the drive, but it didn't get "slurped" in: I had to basically shove it in. That's unexpected and slightly scary. :-/ I put in a Simpsons DVD, and immediately get prompted to input the region coding. What?! It's not formatted for Region 1 to begin with? Ah, it's set for China (region 5). Hmm... I guess that's to be expected since it was, you know, built there. I honestly don't recall if I had to input a region when I first watched a DVD on my HP. So, I started to watch an episode of The Simpsons. To be honest, I've really been spoiled with these HP speakers. The MacBook's aren't terrible, I've certainly heard worse, but the HP's are definitely superior - better midtones and bass. The MacBook's sound is thinner and lacking overall robustness. Having the remote is pretty nice, though, definitely.

I have a copy of Microsoft Office v. X (2001) that I planned on using with this. It'll be interesting to see what kind of performance hit there is, since it wasn't build for Intel chips. I guess I don't expect it to be a hassle or unusable, but I guess we'll see.

::sigh:: ....SOFTWARE UPDATE HUNG AGAIN.

Oh, and the Office installation failed, because apparently it's just an "upgrade" version, not the full version (only one line in small print on the box). Suck. I'll have to copy the folder over from the iMac G4, I guess. ::another sigh::

Software Update hung again. :-/ And again. And again. I really wanted to CTRL+ALT+DEL or something, which seems sad. I "Force[d] Quit" a lot of times, but am really confused as to what the deal is. The iStatPro widget shows a certain healthy internet traffic, then after a while it goes down to 0kb/s, for no apparent reason. I watched this happen multiple times.

Some positive news: the thing is virtually silent, I only hear the hard drive a tiny bit at heavy disk access, and the optical drive is pretty loud when you insert a disc, and then silent when it's playing. The sound of the DVD drive starting is unnerving at first: the consolation is that Apple has this place I found on their website where they have common sounds related to your optical drive, to comfort you if you think yours is malfunctioning. Classy.

I really like the keyboard. I know some people have complained about it, but I think it's really solid-feeling. My HP's is pretty nice, with not much give at all, but I've certainly met my fair share of really crappy laptop keyboards as well. The MacBook's is probably the best I've ever used.

After a while of using it, I really started to notice the sharp edges of the case. If you'll notice from the above pictures, the HP that I'm used to has curved speaker grilles on the front, so it's a natural and comfortable place to rest my wrists/arms while I type. Doing this on the MacBook results in red lines after a while, because the edge is so sharp. It's not huge deal, though: as I used it over the next several days, I learned to support my arms differently. It's probably more ergonomic that way too, I would suspect.

A niggle about volume buttons along the top of the keyboard: I keep hitting the wrong ones. I'm not sure if it's the line-art labels (why not a circle with a strikethrough for "mute"?), or if it's the order that I'm used to, but I keep hitting "Mute" when I mean to hit "Decrease". On the HP, the shortcut controls are in the decrease/increase/IR receiver/mute order. I'm used to this, and am also partial to it because it separates the least likely function from the more likely functions. Apple's layout makes logical sense (none/some/more), but I'm feeling right now that the more common sense approach is to have the mute button separated from the other two, since it's not used as often. I'm sure I'll get used to it, though.

SOFTWARE

Some things about Mac OS X ("Leopard") are great, while others have been maddening. Folder views, for example, while not always consistent on Windows XP, are MUCH more predictable than Leopard. John Siracusa's Finder & folder view criticisms, are spot on: these global settings are going to drive me nuts.

Oh, my flash drive completely froze the system, too. This really boggled my mind, because the drive's worked with a lot of other Mac OS X systems in the past with no problems. After I had to do a hard restart of the computer, I tried the other USB port and it worked fine. I tried the first port again, and it didn't work. I would understand if it's slightly flaky - the drive's an 8 year-old 64MB drive with a FAT-16 file system, but still... it's weird that it works fine on one port and not the other.

Oh, and the Software Update and other internet problems? Well, I thought it might be a network security thing, so I fiddled with those (WPA 128gigabit RBG HEXSCSI mode, etc.) for a while and it didn't do too much, but the next morning everything seemed to work fine. Go figure. (Update: it's still happening. ::sigh::)

A few surprises (some OS-related, other Application-related):

- Dock magnification is off by default. It just seemed interesting to me, since that was always kind of a "cool" factor in my mind of Mac OS X. I suppose that it's not that practical for everyday use.

- There's a 31 character file name limit on Office v. X?! What a great Carbon port. This is certainly annoying, but I'm not sure if it's enough to make me buy Office '08 for $92. The real problem isn't going to be in creating new files of a certain name length (which does sort of make me feel like I'm back in Windows 3.1), but in editing old or received documents and re-saving them.

- Things get put under Dock from time to time. I've seen this before on other Mac OS X systems, and it never ceases to be annoying. This just shouldn't be possible, just as it shouldn't be possible that windows in Windows shouldn't be able to spring up beyond the viewable area, but it is. In Windows, I've got my Taskbar on top, and programs that don't think about that beforehand sometimes put windows up there, and I have to do some weird key combination to move them around so I can see them. ::shrug:: Either situation, in Windows or Mac OS X, isn't annoying enough to make me switch OS's, but programs just shouldn't do it.

I also copied over and opened an iMovie project from the iMac G4 (iMovie HD? iMovie 5? I don't know which version it is), and then all sorts of things started to go wrong. It didn't open iMovie '09, so I opened the project a second time. Then Word started to go haywire and unresponsive, the system wouldn't restart, and then wouldn't shut down. I had to do a hard reboot, again. That's about 3 or 4 in, like, three days. The project did eventually import into iMovie '09, though.

Shared folders on Windows computers didn't work well at first. The computers showed up with no problem, but when I tried to connect to them, they didn't connect. Or, when they did connect and I tried to open a file, I was denied access because I didn't have the correct permissions. After a while, though, everything worked itself out. I'm not joking: I really changed absolutely no settings, and everything started to work. I was sharing files between the office's desktop, my laptop, etc. Setting up the shared laser printer on the office desktop was relatively painless, too, with about as many hoops to jump through as getting it to work through another Windows XP computer.

For e-mail, I've been using Thunderbird on Windows, and so even though I could've used Thunderbird on the MacBook, I thought I'd give Mail a shot. It would've been a familiar interface if I'd gone with Thunderbird, but I wasn't sure how well it integrated with the rest of the OS/contacts/etc. My current e-mail "system" is that everything is in my Inbox, and I use the "unread" marker as things I need to respond to. I know, I know, it's probably not the best system. But, I hate using folders to organize, because things don't always translate into a black-and-white "this folder as opposed to that folder". So, I keep my Inbox sorted by "Unread", then by date received. Unfortunately, Mail can't do that. ::sigh:: It was slightly disappointing, until I realized I could create a "smart mailbox" that only contains unread items, which in some ways is even better. Having to add contacts is a bear, but that's how it was when I moved from Outlook to Thunderbird, too. Then, I thought I'd try something clever: I exported my contacts from Thunderbird on my HP, put it in my shared folder, copied the file from the shared folder over the network onto my MacBook, and imported the "LDIF" file into Mail. Yes - I am, in fact, very tech-savvy. All the contacts transferred fine, but the groups didn't, so I had to rebuilt those lists. It wasn't a huge deal, though, and only took me about 20 minutes or so.

I had downloaded the last version of the old-school iMovie when it was up as a free download a few months ago. I tried to install it on the MacBook, but couldn't because it said I needed to have installed "iLife '08" first. Huge bummer. I guess that's a good incentive for me to get used to iMovie '09 fast.

Also, this may be something you may already know and I'm just beginning to experience: syncing data between two computers sucks. This week, I brought both the MacBook and my laptop to work, but I certainly don't want to do that forever. My goal is to end up using the Mac exclusively for work, and not relying on any software on my laptop (e.g., Photoshop). So, I'm using Dropbox for a few things that I occasionally use on both computers (a spreadsheet or two and some pictures), but my fear is that some day I'll be working on something and need a file from my HP that I don't have with me, and it'll make me frustrated. ::shrug:: We'll see.

CONCLUSION

As I stated at the beginning of this review, switching to something different is always going to result in three different sentiments - the feeling that some things that are nicer, some things are worse, and some things that are just different. I feel like I've touched on a lot of those here, but what's the takeaway message? Would I have rather gotten a PC? Am I happy that I got the Mac?

That's a complicated answer. I think the truly foundational piece I've read on the topic is John Gruber's "Familiarity Breeds A User Base", written about three years ago. In it, he explains how the familiarity with, and knowledge of, something corresponds to the likelihood of moving to something new. That's exactly how I feel right now. Our first family computer ran DOS 6.2 and Windows 3.1, and I actually enjoyed learning some of the command line, keyboard shortcuts, and Windows tricks. We had that machine for four years, upgrading only the RAM. The next machine we got ran Windows 98SE, and most of what I already knew transferred fine, and I picked up even more knowledge. By my freshman and sophomore years of college, though, using Windows 98 became frustrating: Explorer would crash at least half a dozen times a day, for no apparent reason, and I got at least one BSOD ("blue screen of death") per month. After hearing and reading about Windows XP, I was actually excited about it, and bought it the day it was released. It had its own quirks, sure, but the UI was nicer than Windows 98, and the plug and play support was much better. It didn't have all the drivers I needed, but they came with time. Besides, it was monumentally more stable, and I took to it like a duck to water.

And so, I used Windows XP almost exclusively for the next eight years. To put that into perspective: in the 14 years that I've had a home computer, I've been using Windows XP for over half of them. I've used it twice as long as the next longest OS, which was Windows 3.1. Yeah, it's safe to say that I'm invested in Windows XP; I've got a workflow in Windows XP, I know XP. This isn't even taking into account that I've been on the same hardware now for over three and-a-half years. All the muscle memory isn't just based on OS knowledge, but actual physical muscle memory of my HP zv6130us, its latch and screen, its keyboard layout, and the rest of its clunky hardware.

So if I've got so much invested in Windows, why did I ask for a Mac? Well, for several reasons. First of all, I really love Keynote and Pages. Whenever I've seen them, I've thought, "Wow, that's so much easier to use." I also want to do more video editing at church, and all the low-cost PC editing software I've used is complete crap: it's buggy, it's confusing, it's terrible. Since we're going to use this for projection, too, I also wanted to avoid using MediaShout, and to me that meant either Keynote or ProPresenter. And, maybe above all else, I was hoping that once I input all my contacts, any kind of syncing would be much easier, with anything. This may turn out to be false, but I hope not: I'm really looking forward to it.

Back in that piece from three years ago, Gruber wrote:

"I don't think there's any easy way for Apple to overcome this familiarity factor, and I think it's the single biggest impediment to would-be-switchers."

He was right then, and still is to an extent. But as it turns out, Apple didn't have to do a thing to overcome it - Microsoft did it for them. The other major reason I asked for a Mac is that I've actually got virtually nothing invested in Windows Vista (or, consequently, Windows 7). I know some keyboard shortcuts are the same, as they always will be, but all the system settings are changed around, the user account control is disastrous, and the UI - desktop, buttons, menus, etc - seem very different and annoying. My investment in Windows XP doesn't extend as much to Vista as I think Microsoft would hope for. ::shrug::

(And, as a last aside - there are easy ways that Apple can help to overcome the "familarity factor". For example, I know I have a larger laptop and therefore larger keyboard on my HP, but gosh, can there please be some Home and End buttons on the MacBook? Or at least have a universal way to invoke them? Maybe I just haven't figured it out yet, but it seems like each Application can designate what Control/Command+Up or Control/Command+Down do, which is terrible. I use Ctrl+Home and Ctrl+End on my HP tons of times a day, and I haven't been able to figure it out yet on the Mac. Also, where's the forward "Delete" key? And why does it say "Delete", when I can select a file, press that key, and nothing happens? Shouldn't it, I don't know, "Delete" it? Apparently not.)

The slight dissatisfaction and frustrations that I feel right now? Most likely temporary. After all, some of the things that I'm most looking forward to just aren't here yet - I haven't bought iWork yet, and been dazzled by its ease of use and great templates that'll save me bunches of time. I haven't bought ProPresenter yet and found out how much more stable it is compared to MediaShout. iPhoto will be nice, but I haven't imported all my pictures yet, or categorized them properly. Having all sorts of contact and calendar information synchronized will be really helpful, but I don't have all the hundreds of contacts and all their info added yet, or calendars set up.

On the other hand, I can wake the MacBook from sleep in under 3 seconds and "Boom", it's ready for me to start working. Make no mistake - I'm really glad I get to use it, and am looking forward to many happy years ahead. And I don't mean that in a small way, I mean it in a big way.

Out For Delivery

2009-03-30T09:46:00.001-04:00

"Mar 30, 2009 8:25 AM

On FedEx vehicle for delivery"

So close.

Update

2009-03-29T18:43:00.000-04:00

It's left Memphis and headed north.

New Computer Preview

2009-03-29T08:26:00.004-04:00

So, right now I’m tracking my new work computer as it travels on its way from Shanghai, and let me tell you- I am pretty darn excited about it.

Ever since I was hired over two years ago, I've been using my personal laptop (a 2005 HP zv6130) for everything I do, and it’s served me well. It’s quite a beast, really. I truck it around quite a bit, and while I’ve never been rough with it, per se, it’s certainly showing its signs of wear and tear. Kids enjoy making fun of it because it’s so “huge”, “ugly”, and “like a brick”. While it wasn’t exactly a cutting-edge design when I bought it, it is decidedly dated-looking nowadays.*

Aesthetics aside, my primary exhaust fan started to fail back in January, which left me using a 1998 Sony laptop and a 2002 iMac G4 in tandem for over a week while I ordered a replacement fan for ~$60.

After I installed the new fan and things were back to normal, I had given up on the idea that I’d get a new computer. But, we’re starting a new service in a few weeks, and we needed a computer to run the slides, show movies, or whatever we were going to do with it. Suffice to say, none of the computers owned by the church were really suited for this purpose. We have:

the aforementioned Sony laptop (a Craigslist find I got a while ago),
a Pentium III Dell desktop hooked up to a TV on a cart,
a 5 year-old Dell laptop,
a 4 year-old HP desktop in the main office, and
a 6 month-old HP desktop that lives in the pastor’s office

…not a particularly adept crew, no.

I suggested that we could buy a new computer that could be shared between Youth Ministries and the new service needs. I looked at some different prices and deals, and requested an Apple MacBook (white). It was agreed upon, and that is why at this moment I’m anxiously awaiting e-mail updates about a package coming from Shanghai.

SOME HISTORY

My first experience with Apple products, as it relates to this (pre)review, is really a set of experiences during high school. Our computer labs, as I usually remember them, were filled with the G3 all-in-one “molar”'s. These were steadily replaced by iMacs (Revs. A-D) in the computer labs, and others filtered into other classrooms.

I mostly hated them.

I’m not sure what it was about them, really. It certainly couldn’t have been speed, since at the time we had a 66MHz 486 running Windows 3.1 at home. I’m guessing my hatred was mostly directed toward “At Ease”. At Ease was this network environment that must’ve been great from an IT perspective, because you could control all sorts of program and network access from afar. But, from a user standpoint, you couldn’t do jack with it; it was useless. As a natural tinkerer, it made me upset that I didn’t have control over any sort of settings, or get to launch any program I wanted. Therefore, Macs sucked.

I won’t deny that I thought those original iMacs were cute. (Amusing, related story: a fun pastime in Physics was to rearrange all the keyboards and mice so that none of the colors matched each other.)

The breakthrough really came during my freshman year of college, when a friend down the hall from me had a Powerbook G3 (“Pismo”). I was immediately smitten. Sure, it had cost him a lot more than the desktop I had at the time, but it had some really cool programs, and seemed faster, and sleeker, and… well, just look at those curves.

He also got me interested in checking out Mac OS X. Before it launched, I watched all the intro videos on Apple’s website, the cool Dock animations, and was blown away by the beauty, simplicity, and elegance of Aqua. My friend got it the day it was released, and a few of us watched as he installed it.

I think you could say that I was officially hooked.

I used Macs for a few education classes (PowerMac G4’s), during my student teaching (lots of iMacs, iBooks, and an iBook SE graphite), and to edit video for an “aesthetic experience” project (iMac G4). I can’t point to any one thing that I thought was so much better on Macs versus my PC, or other PC’s for that matter. But,… well, that’s not quite true. Editing video was much easier on the iMac G4, even compared to the dual-Pentium III workstation I had also used. Maybe it was merely the difference between iMovie and Adobe Premiere, but all of my experiences left me with the impression that “you know, some day I should look into a Mac.”

My perception is that this has been the situation for a lot of people, and maybe a few are even on the fence of whether to "go Mac" or not. In that spirit, I thought I’d post a comprehensive review of the new MacBook for the edification of us all. Check back in a week or two for that.

Oh, and by the way: it’s in Oakland now.

* I don’t think it’s a particular failing on HP’s part, it’s just that almost all laptops around then were about two inches thick (Apple laptops aside). The move to 65nm and more efficient chips has done wonders for laptop designs. Ironically, when I brought my iMac G4 to church last fall, kids could not believe that it was 7 years old. They were convinced it was much, much newer than that.

The F Stands for Failure

2009-02-09T19:49:00.008-05:00

You speak, but no one can hear you.

You hunger, but there is nothing to satisfy your desire.

The cold, hard loneliness surrounds you, and you wrap your arms around your body so that you retain at least some sort of control over your faculties.

But it’s useless. There’s no ambiguity that you’re there: the eighth circle of Hell.

To the ordinary laymen in casual conversation, this is called “Terminal F at the Philadelphia International Airport”.

Now, I may not be a very balanced source, because I’ve only flown into Philadelphia about half a dozen times. But, four of those trips were in the last year or so, so I feel that my experiences still carry some weight. And, I might add right up front – I have very little experience with the other terminals there, so I’m not going to bother talking about them. This is all about Terminal F.

“Well gosh,” you might start to ask. “What makes Terminal F so bad? What makes it so much worse than Terminals A through E?”

I was hoping you’d ask that.

There are a multitude of sins that Terminal F commits, some of which are created simply by the function it serves. See, the only airline that Terminal F serves is US Airways Express, which means that all of the traffic arriving at (or departing from) Terminal F is from relatively short distances/flights. Basically, the Northeast.

Living in that region, I know that every time I fly into Philadelphia I can be sure that I’m going to arrive or depart from Terminal F.

In some ways, this is extremely convenient. After all, you can get used to a certain terminal – its layout, restaurants (more on that in a moment), and general feel. In another sense, it’s extremely maddening because you know you’re going to have to go to another terminal to catch your next flight. This wouldn’t be so bad in and of itself, except for the fact that when you cast your gaze from Terminal F toward the rest of the airport, you see this:

Yes, it’s so far removed that not even the laws of perspective apply.

What you should quickly realize in this factual rendition [Flash link] is that it’s virtually impossible to walk to the other terminals, and it’s actually impossible if you want to avoid going through Security again. So, in order to transfer to and from Terminal F, you must take the bus. Leaving Terminal F on the bus is a relatively easy affair (I suppose they feel at least some compassion for the poor, lost souls who are stranded there). But, taking the bus from Terminals A-E over to F will result in 1) A long line of people crowded in a small, cold, windy stairwell, 2) cramped space on the bus itself, 3) Waiting for at least ten minutes in the aforementioned stairwell.

The normal person, when faced with such obstacles, would think, “Well, I’ll just walk over.” Ah, but recall - about a half-mile walk, with a security checkpoint somewhere in between. There’s not even one of the fancy “moving walkways” that connect all the other terminals together – you’ve got to hoof it all the way.

So, the distance is considerable, the shuttle bus miserable, and the fact that you (I) always have to interact with Terminal F makes it a foreboding experience.

Let’s say that you next feel the pangs of hunger. Most likely, you will sigh when you discover that although Terminals A-E have some amazing restaurants, Terminal F is decidedly more limited.

A Sbarro.
A Chinese place.
A small sports bar.
A new Au Bon Pain.
3 “newsstand”s of the sort that sell wilted deli sandwiches for $6.95.

Let’s look at the list of restaurants at just Terminals B & C, shall we?

I assure you that A, D, and E have even more, and this list is out of date (I saw a sign for Chik-Fil-A, which would’ve been awesome to have. Alas, it was Sunday, and in Terminal E, I think.). The food options are not only depressing and inadequate, but really in poor taste when you consider what the other terminals get access to without the need for bus transportation.

In Terminal F, you also have to suffer through the mundane idiots that lose all hope and become monosyllabic mouth-breathers. I sat next to one recently and, I swear on all that is holy and good in this world that I am not exaggerating (by much), his entire vocabulary consisted of “Mmm”, “H’yah”, “Awesome”, and “Man…”. It was dispiriting to know that he’s enrolled at Cornell.

At any rate, in case it hasn’t been abundantly clear to you yet: Terminal F gets the shaft by the Philadelphia International Airport, and it’s a rough place to have to spend several hours. Of course it’s not on the same scale as hell,… but it’s bad. The sad thing is that they built Terminal F 8 years ago. 8 freaking years ago. …and it still doesn’t have any decent restaurants! And you still can’t get there by walking! And it’s still cold!

...::sigh::

But it’s all good, ‘cause if I’m there, it means I’m either on my way to somewhere fun and interesting, or on my way back home to somewhere safe and comforting.

So I guess it’s not all bad.

Responding to Authority

2009-02-04T21:32:00.004-05:00

So, I got a ticket recently.

It happened a few Thursdays ago, when I headed back to church at about 9:45pm or so to double-check that a) the oven in the kitchen was turned off and b) the pizza that had been in the oven wouldn’t be a dried bit of crusty debris when I got there on Sunday morning. It wasn’t really in any danger of catching on fire, per se, but it’s better to be safe than sorry – right? Well, it turns out that the oven had been turned off (thanks Martin!), and I took the pizza out and shoved it in the freezer to save for another week.

On my way there, though, I got stopped by the police. (I almost just capitalized both “the” and “police”, to emphasize their importance, but then I realized it could be taken to mean that I was stopped by the 70s & 80s pop band. Sadly, they aren’t the ones who pulled me over.) Honestly, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. A few days beforehand (3?, 5?) I had noticed that one of my headlights was out. I mentally resolved to have it replaced when I got my car inspected this month, but didn’t worry about it again until I saw the red and blue flashing lights in my rear-view mirror that night.

I started to laugh, actually, as I pulled off to the side of the road. You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought. There’s no way I get pulled over for the headlight that’s been out for, like, three days. But, I hadn’t been speeding or anything, and so I knew that that was the reason. So I turned the engine off, rolled down my window, and turned on the interior light.

The officer that approached me was very nice, and he let me know right off the bat that, while he was going to give me a ticket, if I got the headlight replaced and got it signed off by a police officer within 30 days, the ticket fee would be waived.

You know what? That sounded like a really sweet deal to me.

I suppose you could scoff and argue and be all “What, do they have a quota or something? Why are they pulling people over just for broken headlights?” …but that’s not the issue. The issue is whether or not I was guilty, which I was; I broke the law. You’re supposed to have two, fully-functioning headlights. There are reasons for it, and while I’m sure you could argue against them, that’s the law, and I was in violation of it.

The officer was doing his job of enforcing the law, and whether I like it or not, when I got my driver’s license I agreed that I’d be in full compliance with that law. I agreed to it when I got my license, car, and insurance. But for some reason we’ve gotten really complacent in the way we treat authorities in our lives.

It’s like when I was in college. For a year, I was the RA of a “substance-free” floor. This basically meant that everyone, even 21+ year-olds, weren’t allowed to have alcohol (or cigarettes, etc.). That was the agreement you made when you signed the Residential Life contract. And yet, there were students throughout the year who violated that rule, got written up for it, and got upset for being written up. ::shrug:: What’s there to be angry at? You made the agreement when you signed on to the deal in the first place.

And so it is with all the authorities in your life, apart from your parents. Live in the U.S.? Then you have lots of freedoms, but still have to abide by national, state, and local laws (traffic or otherwise ;-) ). High school student? That’s great – you’re able to learn about a multitude of different subjects for basically free, and therefore have some rules imposed on you. College student? That’s awesome, but you still have to abide by whatever rules your college has that you agree upon when you become a student there. Work at a church or a camp? Same thing.

I bring this up because I spend more time than I should reading things online, and I’ve been consistently seeing this thread of, “Well, I disagree with this particular law, so I have the right to ignore it.” on all sorts of sites. This really bothers me (and sometimes convicts me). It bothers me because, frankly, it reeks of weaseling. And as someone who wants to live a life that honors God, that behavior- that kind of adolescent justification of “Well, uh… it’s not fair! I wanna, so I’m going to do it anyway!”- is not at all honoring to God, and it's not who I want to be. I hate to sound like it, but recently I’ve been feeling a lot like Danny Tanner or Cliff Huxtable (or any other TV dad), saying, “If you’re not going to abide by the rules of this house, then you can go find yourself another house!”

It seems harsh, but c’mon - in this country, they’re exactly right. We in the United States are gifted with the opportunities to go to school wherever we want, or travel and live wherever we want. We’re also blessed with the fact that if you don’t like the rules, you can peacefully protest and object through legislation and democratic processes. But, standing on the sidelines and saying, “It’s just wrong, man.”, and violating the rule anyway? Please. You know that’s not how society should work. It’s not the precedent set for us by God, and even when we’re in the process of breaking a law (speeding, anyone?), we feel it and know it’s wrong. I think we feel it because we know it’s hypocritical. It’s hypocrisy to agree to certain things and be protected in certain ways, but not “x”. And, if you’re really wanting to do “x”, shouldn’t you be willing to leave the comfort of whatever authority you’re under in order to do it? Hasn’t God said that He “opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble”? (James 4:6) Suck it up, throw away the pride of opposition, and be humble for a while under the authority in your life. I know it’s not popular, but whenever you’re tempted your answer should just be, “ ’x’ isn’t allowed here. And, while I may or may not agree with it, I’m under the authority of _____, and I will respect them.”

…if it turns out that I do have to pay a fine for my ticket, I’m going to do it gladly. The police force that may inconvenience me from time to time with a traffic ticket is the same police force that keeps me safe and enforces the rules that I, as a member of a democratic society, have chosen. Whining doesn’t make it any better, and acting as if the law doesn’t exist or doesn’t apply to me doesn’t make it better either. What makes it better is knowing that I’m honoring God with my decisions, and that with every decision I make, I’m learning more about Him and growing more into who He wants me to be, who I was created to be.

::shrug::

But that’s enough of that for now. Stay tuned soon for a post about a place in the eighth circle of Hell.

We Can't Win (That Way)

2008-10-22T15:38:00.003-04:00

As the political season comes to both fruition and conclusion, many well-meaning Christians around the country are going to be disappointed if their preferred candidate doesn't win. For the Right, it will be a disappointment if Obama wins, because it means the further destruction of family values, increased abortions, and... (and... and...). For the Left, it will be a disappointment if McCain wins, because he only cares about the rich, is hawkish on Iran, and... (and... and...). All of this distresses me, and has for a long time now, because I plan on being disappointed in the election regardless of which candidate wins.

Please don't misunderstand me; I know that as a Christian, I should be (and vigorously am) interested in the forces at work in this world. I can't be ignorant to large social structures, including government. After all, Paul tells us that government is established as an authority in this world by God, and we should submit to that authority. Also, as minister and poet John Donne wrote, "no man is an island, entire of itself". (He precedes this by saying, among other things, that we are all "one volume" of "one author" ...wow, that's great imagery :-) ). So, because we should submit to a governing authority which encourages participation and are all interconnected with the lives of our neighbors, we should vote.

And so I will. But what distresses me about the "right" fighting the "left" is that they're both going to lose. They should be disappointed. I'm not the first person to talk about why this is, and I probably won't be the last, but I hope you take a few minutes to think about it.

I'm going to be disappointed because I don't want one or more particular agenda items to be happily checked off as they're brought to both Houses, voted on, and signed by the President. What I want, more than anything, is the Kingdom of God to be right here, right now. I want all of it - both "left" issues like environmental protection and "right" issues like the elimination of abortion. But, I know that as a Christian, my power within this space is very limited. Why? Well, though C.S. Lewis wrote about the topic about sixty years ago, his words are just as true today as they were back then.

"Meditation on the Third Commandment" shows how, as Christians, our different views of faith lead us to different conclusions on both ends and means: those that are concerned primarily with the promotion of Christian values will always be drawn toward the authoritative power of fascism, those that are more mindful of The Fall and the corruption of power will see democracy as the only hope, and those concerned by the lack of social activism and the righting of worldly wrongs will see communism as the answer. (I confess that at different times in my life I have held each of those views.)

Because we view the world through different lenses, any involvement of Christians in politics will result in either a) a Christian party in which only a minority of Christian views are represented, or b) Christians working within different parties, and compromising on both ends and means in those parties. However, Lewis writes that there is another way: to abstain from working within political parties, and to instead be a nonconformist voice of change to our representatives in government. Christians shouldn't shy away from interest in politics, but should continually work to pester their "M.P.'s" (Members of Parliament). This, according to Lewis, combines the best of both the dove and the serpent.

C.S. Lewis isn't alone in his thoughts. Two key players from the Moral Majority (formed in 1980; the forerunner to the Christian Coalition) wrote a book several years ago about their experiences working to change society through politics, and what they learned from the process. It's a great book, and I recommend it to, well, everyone... but I'll just mention a few things here.

In a chapter entitled, "Let the Church be the Church", Ed Dobson writes that there are three basic human institutions established by God - the family, government, and the church. Each of these has different responsibilities - the care and nurturing of children, providing an ordered society, and the spiritual transformation of individuals, respectively. Understandably, one of Dobson's concerns is:

...that [Christians] are in danger of substituting our spiritual authority (the power to change lives and culture) for political authority (a lesser power that cannot change a single life). Have we not spent millions of dollars and immeasurable time to bring about political change? Even if we had been completely successful in bringing about that change, we would still not have changed a single life. Only the power of the church can transform within. Political authority, seductive as it is, is the lesser authority. [emphasis added]

He goes on:

Should we then ignore these issues? Absolutely not! These battles must be fought - but they must be fought by individual Christians, not the church or a group self-identified as Christian... I still believe in the basic political views of the Religious Right... I am pro-life and pro-family. I am troubled by... I am concerned about... The list could go on. However, I do not believe that politics is capable of solving any of these problems. The transformation of our culture will come through the power of the gospel - one person at a time. I fear that in the Religious Right we have opted for a shortcut to cultural change - namely, legislation. But laws do not change people's lives. The church possesses the power to transform America and the world, but it is in danger of trading it for Republican or Democratic influence. In the process, we are distracting people from the ultimate solution: Jesus Christ. [emphasis added]

What I really enjoy about these quotes is how Dobson approaches the subject with a good dose of humility: he (and others) thought they could change the world if only they could elect the "right" people, or pass the "right" legislation. (By the way, Christians on the other side of the fence are no better: "If only we'd have Democrats in power", "If only we'd tax the oil companies more", "If only...") But Dobson, after a decade of trying to make it happen, realized that they had been seduced by the appeal of power and the illusion of influence. What I find most interesting, though, is... we already know that! We know that the real power to change lives doesn't come from top-down enforcement but from bottom-up encouragement; we know that positional leadership is the basest form of leadership! We know that to truly change lives, you must first invest in people's lives and help them to live better than they had been - we know that already. We just often fall to the seduction of the legislative tempter.

Aside from the fact that we maybe we "shouldn't" use political power to achieve personal spiritual ends, there's also the simple truth that legislating hasn't worked. Dobson and Thomas say time and again throughout Blinded By Might that though they spend millions and millions of dollars, what did they have to show for it in the end? Roe vs. Wade is still in effect, pornography is even more rampant now than it was then, etc. If we look back further, we see even more evidence that legislating Christian morals and ethics hasn't really led to change. Have you ever heard of the 18th Amendment? I wouldn't be surprised if you hadn't. It states that the "manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within... the United States... is hereby prohibited." Now, can you believe that? It was effectively repealed by the 21st Amendment, of course, but keep in mind: there was enough popular opinion in the country at the time for this to to be ratified as an Amendment to our Constitution, and it still failed! Alcohol consumption allegedly increased, as did violent crime. Temperance had more support than a lot of current causes, and it still failed to really change any lives.

On the other hand, where has real change occurred? Well, look to the abolition movement, or women's suffrage movement, or the civil rights movement. All of those sought to change people's hearts and minds first, before they enacted legislation. The Voting Rights Act of 1964 wouldn't have done anything unless people's minds were already changing. Don't doubt the power of nonconformity.

So, as I go to vote in a few weeks and fulfill my civic and spiritual responsibility, I'm not foolish enough to think that one candidate or the other will do "God's will" more than the other - it would be heresy to suggest that what concerns God can be boiled down to a set of political talking points. I want the Kingdom of God, and no amount of politics can accomplish that. Only the church can.

Since it just seems right, I'll leave you with a quote from a man who believed in working towards God's goals: skirting all around the political framework, but not getting entangled in it.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; 'and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.'

Me too - I can't wait.

Riled Up

2008-10-08T22:31:00.005-04:00

So, a few weeks ago I got really riled up. I was at church and was handed, very casually, a letter that we had gotten recently.

I've uploaded it to Flickr so you can read it for yourself, but removed the identifying information from the organization it was sent by. I've received a few things from them before, but haven't thought much about it - we're just on some mailing list of theirs, I guess.

But this... ugh. Feel free to go read it first and then come back and let's dissect it together. I'll wait.

::twiddles thumbs::

.....I know, right?!

It pretty much exemplifies everything that's wrong with some Christians today.

Dear listening friends,
I am writing today to bring up some very important thoughts that I hope you will take seriously.

Hmm... okay. So far, so good. I mean, already it seems somewhat strange to me that someone's sending out a mass letter just to bring up some thoughts. But, you know, whatever.

I am writing in regards to the concern of reference to magic used in Christian material. References to magic are found sadly in many programs, books, movies, etc in secular culture and we should know enough to stay away from them.

Uh-oh, is this going to be about Harry Potter? 'Cause, you know, the "let's all hate on Harry Potter" fad kind of came and went several years ago, so if you're just jumping on the bandwagon now...

Take for instance the kid’s Disney tv show “The Wizards of Waverly Place”, or the Harry Potter books and movies, or the classic movie the Wizard of Oz, using white magic witches, a black magic witch and a wizard.

Ugh, there it is! Harry Potter again? Must we debate this every time a new movie comes out and - wait, huh?! The Wizard of Oz? Oh no,... this is going to be worse than I thought. By the way, the author has seen The Wizard of Oz, right? They know that there is, in fact, no "wizard"? That it's just a guy with a machine behind a curtain? [~7:15] Apparently not.

It goes on.

But then there’s the Christian Veggie Tales spoof of that film “The Wizard of Ha’s” as well as the spoof of “Lord of the Rings” (which I have heard very recently that “Lord of the Rings” also contains aspects of the occult).

..."heard very recently"? Wait, hold on - you mean you've never, perhaps, actually read The Lord of the Rings? You've never watched the hugely successful films? You mean to tell me that you've never heard in the 70-odd years since The Hobbit was published that one of the main characters is a wizard and that the plot revolves around a magic ring?! This astounds me. Sadly, we're just in the first paragraph. Briefly scanning the page, this goes on for about another three-quarters of a page, what could the author possibly talk about for that long?

We gave away those Veggie dvds on *****, without thinking much about it, but I now can clearly see, that should not have been done. Even if it is turned into a Christian theme, the source of it is still bad, which in all—doesn’t make it right.

I am writing today as well to point out the Chronicles of Narnia series, which many Christians, including myself, have been deceived by.

Oh, dear Lord. Please, no.

I had promoted this series before, and the station had played the Focus on the Family drama for the stories, and now I regret that the station did so.

Some words of advice for the future: if you ever find yourself calling Focus on the Family too liberal, you've gone round the bend.

I was fooled, as I had heard that CS Lewis was a Christian, and that the stories were an allegory to Jesus.

...

[.....in case you're wondering, my jaw has dropped and I am speechless]

You've heard he was a Christian? Heard? To be honest, that's the phrase that riled me up the most. You've "heard" he was a Christian? He's one of the most prolific Christian writers of the 20th century and one of the greatest Christian apologists of all time and you've only "heard" he was a Christian?! The casual-ness of the comment just floors me. Have you not read Mere Christianity? His spiritual autobiography, Surprised By Joy? Have you read The Problem of Pain, The Weight of Glory, his various essays in God in the Dock? ANYTHING of his? Of course not - why bother with accuracy before you send out a mass letter to hundreds of churches? I've heard this "Pope" guy's a Christian too, but, ::shrug:: you know, I'm not sure. I don't think I'll bother to look into it, though.

(Additionally, the author doesn't refute whether or not the stories actually are an allegory to Christ [hint: they are]. No, they just lead you to believe that they're not.)

But now that my eyes are wide open about how disturbing this series is, I feel a great responsibility to warn you about it, encourage you all to stay away from it, and I want to try to undo any promotion. I would encourage you to go through your house and trash anything that you may have that contains references to magic. Don’t give it to someone else, just destroy it and throw it away. You will be so glad you did.

"But now that my eyes are wide open about how disturbing this series is..." Now there's an interesting phrase. This appears to be a recent revelation to the author and I hope that they share later on how they came to such a scholarly conclusion. Surely they've read up on the subject: done some investigation, taken the - oh, I don't know - probably dozens (hundreds?) of college courses around the country about C.S. Lewis?

I also found the language to be a little vague. The Bible contains many references to "magic": does the author mean for us to throw that away as well, or is that okay to have?

The book and movie series contains white and black magic, a witch, magical creatures, enchantments, etc. I have just recently discovered that the story also contains positive references to Greek gods.

Translation: For all of you who have been living under a rock and have not read the books, seen the recent movies, or have previously thought the word "Narnia" was a real place or person: they're works of fantasy, and contain fictional things! OMG!

(This is also the second time the author has mentioned white magic as something negative. I must be missing something - is there something wrong with flying in bubbles, healing, making rainbows, etc.?)

I also wonder if they've ever actually read the books. They only "recently discovered" the positive references to Greek gods? Jees, I would've thought just reading "Bacchus" would've tipped you off before, but, ::shrug::. Nevermind, also, that of course the other "gods" all answer to Aslan [Jesus] anyway- that doesn't matter, apparently.

In essence the story is a mixture of paganism/the occult and some allegories of Christianity.

So do our celebrations of: Christmas, Easter, All Saints Day, birthdays, etc.

Also, I seem to remember Paul saying something about this topic. Something about, maybe, "to the Jews, I became like the Jews... to those not having the law I became like one not having the law... ...I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings."? Something along those lines?

I was fooled thinking the analogies to Jesus made it a great witnessing tool, as this series is promoted largely in Christian circles. But now that I clearly see about the wrong things also in this series, I must say, “No, it is not”. Please do not open up the door to the occult into people’s lives with this story.

Yeah... I mean, why try to meet people where they are? Why bother trying to share a story with them about a God who loves them?

I want you to please check out this website and read the article “Narnia: Divine or Demonic”

www.heavenisopen.com/narnia.html and
www.heavenisopen.com/newsletter/narnia2.html

Ahhhh, here we go! From whence have these revelations come from? A website called "Heaven Is Open". Sounds interesting. Let's visit the first link.

Personally I read these Chronicles twice in my life.

...

Twice?! That's it?! Honestly, I can't even tell you how many times I've read them. Gosh... a bunch. This guy has only ever read the series twice? Man. (These web pages mentioned here are pretty long, but they're an interesting read. Basically, the author says that since Scripture clearly says not to associate with any form of magic/wizardry/etc., we shouldn't either. It's a fairly straightforward and often-touted argument.) Let's get back to this letter, though.

I am learning to use discernment, and I am learning that just because something has the title of “Christian” on it, doesn’t necessarily mean everything about it is pleasing to the Lord. A wolf, even in sheep’s clothing and a happy face, is still a wolf.

Amen. Here's something we can agree on.

"Just because something has the title of “Christian” on it, doesn’t necessarily mean everything about it is pleasing to the Lord." Like, maybe, your own organization? I think one might look for the log in their own eye before they'd send out such nonsense to every place with a steeple in a 100-mile radius.

Again, please go through your house and trash anything you may have that contains references to things like magic that are abominations to the Lord. And warn others, too, about these afore-mentioned books, programs, movies, dvds, etc.

Think about these verses:

Leviticus 19: 31 “Regard them not that seek after familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards to be defiled by them; I am the Lord your God.”

Leviticus 20:6 “And the soul that turns after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people. Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be holy, for I am the Lord your God.”

Revelation 22: 14 &15 “Blessed are those who keep his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter into the gates of the city. For without [those not allowed in God’s city] are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loves and makes a lie.”

May we all allow God to purify us and keep our hands and hearts totally clean.

In the holy name of Yahweh,
----------

This letter really set me off for a few reasons, but none of them were that the author thought that The Chronicles of Narnia were wicked and I didn't. After reading through the pages on the "Heaven Is Open" website, I can tell that that author (a pastor of a church in Belgium) feels truly convicted about this series, as well as any other work of fantasy. He seems to feel strongly that, as Christians, we're called to live our lives separate from the worldly influences that surround us, and in so doing, be a light unto the world. Let me be clear - I deeply respect that, and have no problem with "agreeing to disagree" in that regard.

The biggest problem that I had with this letter is that, just a moment ago, I said that "the author thought that The Chronicles of Narnia were wicked." This, though, doesn't seem to be the case. What really seems to have happened here is that the author a) thought The Chronicles of Narnia were helpful in their walk with Christ for themselves and others, then b) came across ONE website, and c) was brainwashed convincingly enough to write a letter and mail it to tens of thousands of people they didn't know and, instead of opening a dialogue about the topic, shut the door and claimed that anyone on the other side was apparently not as "pure" a Christian as they were. What upset me about the letter was that the author, in my opinion, made a complete fool of themselves by assuming their audience were complete fools.

Aside from the obvious questions (Are they really afraid that children will start blue fires and try to resurrect somebody? Do we really have to warn kids that minotaurs do not exist?), what the author seems to ignore is the fundamental truth that things that don't specifically mention Christ can still point to Him. They evidently know the opposite is true ("just because something has the title of “Christian” on it, doesn’t necessarily mean everything about it is pleasing to the Lord ") but don't seem to understand that the great thing about our relationships to Christ is that we relate to Him differently. The allegories in The Chronicles of Narnia have led me closer to God, not further away. They have given me a much richer understanding of Him, and I'm better off for it.

I really enjoy The Chronicles of Narnia, and certain passages continue to make me twitterpated whenever I read them; just the thought of them can bring tears to my eyes. Where I think the author went wrong, though, is here: "I was fooled thinking the analogies to Jesus made it a great witnessing tool, as this series is promoted largely in Christian circles." No, no, no... you have misunderstood them. The Chronicles are promoted largely in Christian circles not because they're a great witnessing tool to non-Christians, but because they are an amazing tool to help explain Christian-ese to Christians themselves. The instances in the Chronicles where we see glimpses of Christ are meant to be just that - glimpses. They are meant to hint toward a Savior bigger than we could imagine: to a God who loves us and longs for our affection. The Chronicles are allegories so that Christians learn - so that they can see how, no matter what ancient myths and legends have said, everything that has ever been and ever will be is under Christ, so that they can see how Faith makes sense and is reasonable, so that complex doctrinal stances can seem elementary and self-evident.

The focus of The Chronicles of Narnia is not in promoting magic, or witchcraft, or Greek gods, or any of the other absurdities that this letter is claiming. The focus of Narnia is to take the reader into a world where they experience deep emotions about characters, like Aslan, that might transfer back into their own world. As Aslan himself says:

This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Chapter 16

Amen.

Numb

2008-04-09T18:47:00.006-04:00

"...i've

become so numb

i can't feel you there..."

This morning on my way to work, I finished up the sermon I had been listening to and then switched to shuffling some music, and the song "Numb" by Linkin Park came on.

Have you ever heard it? It's pretty solid, as are some other Linkin Park songs that I've heard. Mostly, what I enjoy about Linkin Park is that all of their songs (even if I don't like them) are full of emotion; I always feel like I'm hearing the very depths of the songwriter's soul.

And such it is with "Numb". When you hear the song, you feel the anger that the author is feeling- it's almost palpable. He's angry with himself because he feels like he's being pigeon-holed into something he's not sure of, and he feels like he's stuck in a rut. He's also angry with someone else whom he feels he doesn't live up to, and is expecting too much of him. He's obviously disappointed in himself and feels like he's disappointed this other person as well.

The chorus - the point of the song, if you could call it that - is that he's had enough. He's becoming numb to the other person, and he's creating a new life that's apart from this person. Apparently, he wants to be more of what he believes himself to be, and less what he thinks this other person wants him to be. The other person is seemingly smothering, seemingly wanting to control this person's life, and he's had enough of being what he thinks is a disappointment to this other person.

::shrug::

I've heard that the writer was talking about a past girlfriend, but ever since I first heard this song, I've heard it as an argument between someone and God. It's between a Christian who's realized that following God is costly, and either doesn't really understand what God really wants from them, or doesn't want to give up that freedom, or both. The singer is (to put it lightly) pissed off at God, because he feels like God wants something that he can't give.

In our culture, you often hear people saying that you should "be true to yourselves". I think the singer in "Numb" is asserting that, and trying to say that he's finally going to stop following God and start "being true to himself." However, I think he's in error, and has forgotten the very nature of God. Deciding to do "what you want" or falling into self-pity and saying, "Well, I don't think I can please you, God, so I'm going to do my thing for a while" isn't the way out. God isn't like some middle school gym teacher, shouting hoarsely for one more pull-up. God doesn't want to control your life like that. He just.... well, He's just the Creator of all things, and He created you for one thing - to bring praise and glory to His name. He knows what you could be, and that's why He desires things from you.

If we don't wholly direct ourselves to His purposes, we're going to feel mixed up inside. We're going to feel lost and not know what actions or friends we should follow. And we're going to want to do what we think is best for us. Usually this turns out to be what's worst for us. I've been there; I've often wondered and shouted aloud to God, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" But, I have come to realize that it's not God who's pushing me into this box, it's that I'm resisting who He has truly intended me to be. The appeal of certain friendships and actions is, well, appealing. But to think that you should indulge in them because you think you've disappointed God and think you can't ever measure up to His standards.... that's foolish.

God doesn't want us to be robots, and He doesn't want us to give up all our wants and desires. We don't have to create a new life for ourselves that contains all the things that we think God dislikes - we have to acknowledge the simple truth that our true lives, our true selves - contain all of what God wants for us, and nothing that He doesn't.

Years and years ago, I received a fortune cookie whose fortune said, "God has given us one face, and we make ourselves another." I think you can read it a few different ways, but the way I read it then (and still interpret it now) is that God has created a certain way we are to be. But, we spend most of our lives avoiding it and trying to create another facade. Please don't. Don't go numb. Reach out to Him, and embrace who He has created you to be.

Not All Tears Are An Evil

2007-08-17T21:53:00.000-04:00

...a few weeks this summer I used clips from The Lord of the Rings movies to help illustrate points in my Bible Studies. After all, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is filled with examples of people being heroes to others, but also having struggles along the way. They're all very human, but also noble, and want to be heroes.

It worked well, I think. On Friday, I liked to show the end of The Return of the King, where Frodo is talking to himself while he's writing his part of the story. The voice-over is great. What he says, in essence, is that after you go through something intense, you can't simply go back home to what you were used to. That, you slowly understand: you are changed, and there is no going back. ("How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on? When, in your heart... you begin to understand - there is no going back.")

And so it is with camp. Whenever I used that clip with campers, I tried to explain how it was going to be the same with them; that camp had affected them and that when they went home, they'd be different. It's the same with staff members. The summer is so deep, so compounded, that it'd be very difficult for it to not affect you. Andy said something interesting last night which I hadn't ever thought of before: Lakeview Chapel at Casowasco is his home church. If you figure that we're in the chapel seven days a week (not at all on Saturday, but twice on Sunday) for at least eight weeks, that's fifty-six times you're there per year. That leaves forty-four Sundays at your local church. Truly, Casowasco is home to a good many of us.

So it follows that it'd be emotional as the summer draws to a close. At times yesterday, it was a struggle to fight back the tears. Before I knew it last night, the cape was off the cross, the set was torn down, and staff were leaving in droves, including myself. We pour so much into the kids, so much into the rest of the staff, only to have all of them disappear in what seems like a blink of an eye. And we're left with the sort of questions that don't have any answers: Did I make any sort of impact? Will anything I said stick? Did I show any of them enough of His love? When it comes down to it, will they make wise decisions? Will they acknowledge God and make Him the center of their life? .......I don't know.

My Friday morning Lord of the Rings clips didn't end with Frodo lamenting over how you couldn't go home again, though. No, they ended with Gandalf saying, "I will not say 'do not weep', for not all tears are an evil." Having the summer end is incredibly sad, and it happens very fast. We run and run and run and finally hit the proverbial brick wall like Wile E. Coyote did so often, and we're left with little things buzzing around our heads, making us wonder if the whole summer was a dream. But it wasn't a dream. It was hard, and felt long at times, and made us want to scream and laugh and sing and praise and fall on our knees, but it wasn't a dream. It was great work, and we've earned the right to be remorseful that it's over (for this year). We did great work, and we've earned the right to cry tears of joy.

On Gift-Giving

2007-04-18T20:14:00.000-04:00

As you may or may not know, my birthday was a few weeks ago. I spent most of it driving in a snowstorm, then staying up until about 2 in the morning. On the upside, I did get to talk to an extremely cool staff member from camp last summer and spend some quality time with some of my awesome kids from church, so it really wasn't too bad.

One thing that was difficult about it wasn't anything that actually happened on my birthday exactly, but one of the presents I received a few weeks in advance. Since January, we've been working through the entire series of The West Wing. I own Season 1, so it wasn't too much of a problem until we got to the end of the season and, if you know anything about the way the finale ended, you just can't stop there: you have to watch the next season premiere. Of course, once you rent the next disc to watch the next few episodes, you can't stop there either, and get sucked into watching the rest of the Season 2. Phew. It would be wise to point out now that the show went on for seven seasons.

.....yeah. So we rented the first three and a half seasons from the rental place, which wasn't too bad because we got some two-for-one deals sometimes, other discounts, etc. Sure, it was going to be expensive to watch the rest of the series (especially because they went all cheap on us in Season 3 and started using single-sided discs, so you have to rent twice as many to finish the season.... dirtbags), but hey, what are you going to do? Buy the whole series? Yeah, right, it's like $200 on Amazon. It'd be only a fraction of that to rent it, and there aren't any other options, so... ::shrug:: that's the breaks.

Until one night when we finished up a Season 4 disc and needed to run to the store to grab another. That's when an early birthday present is given to me: The West Wing - The Complete Series Collection. It's even in a little briefing case, with the Seal of the President embossed on the front.

I couldn't believe it, I was so humbled. This was expensive, this was... it was completely unnecessary. It was more than I needed or deserved. It... it was nice gesture, but I couldn't accept it. It was too much. They shouldn't have, really.... really, they shouldn't have. But "no" wasn't taken as an answer. It was given as a gift, they wanted me to have it. They were so enamored with finishing the series as well that they admitted it was kind of a selfish gift, that they wanted me to have it as much as they knew that I'd like to have it. And, as they pointed out: what does cost matter? This is what they were giving to me, this is what they wanted me to have; what does its cost matter?

...::sigh::... they had me. It doesn't help that I had just been listening to a series of podcasts from North Point Community Church called "Choosing Christmas," which revolved around the problems of accepting a gift that didn't seem to be genuine, that seemed too good to be true. The gist of the message was that we all have trouble accepting gifts, because we never want to feel like we "owe" someone, even if we might need help. In our lives, we might not want to accept the gift of Jesus Christ because we're too proud: we want to feel like we can do it ourselves, that we don't need saving. We don't want to feel like we "owe" God something.

....the problem is, a gift isn't meant to cause any sort of guilting at all. It's a gift- free of cost to you and absolutely free of strings. After all, what good is a gift if you put conditions on it? No, a gift is given by someone who truly cares for you, who wants what's best for you, regardless of the price they may have to pay for it.

There's a song that I've been thinking of recently, "Above All." I have it on tape somewhere, and I used to listen to it on my way back and forth from my student teaching. I'm not sure why it's been in my head, but the chorus is pretty poignant:

Crucified, laid behind a stone
You lived to die, rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground,
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

Christ, as He was being crucified, was thinking of us above all else. Why was the gift given to us? Because God loved us so much, He couldn't help but give it. Was it a high price? Absolutely. Do we deserve it? Absolutely not. I didn't deserve to get the entire West Wing series either. But that didn't matter. What mattered was that the gift-giver wanted to give it.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

The Foundations Of Faith

2007-03-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

I was feeling like Peter a couple weeks ago. I was about to head out to Confirmation class at church when I read an article about a story that was breaking on Monday. It was about the alleged tomb of Jesus, his alleged wife Mary Magdalene, son, etc. ....and as I read the article I thought, "Wow..... that's stupid." ......but, to be perfectly honest, the entire drive to church I was thinking about it and worried about it. Yeah, worried. I'm not sure why, but I guess that my certainty over the historicity of the Gospels (and, by extension, the New Testament) seemed to be laid bare. "What if....?", I thought. ...."What if this was true, and they discovered some incontrovertible way to disprove the authenticity of the Gospels, what would I do then? Where would my faith be?" ...I'm sad and, actually, ashamed to say that for those fifteen minutes on the way to church, I was scared about my faith in God. I was afraid that I had made Him up somehow, that the miracles that He performed in Scripture were just fanciful stories meant to inspire people, and not an actual account of real events. I was afraid that everything I had come to know was wrong. Here I was, on my way to help kids believe in the saving power of Jesus Christ, and for fifteen minutes now I kept thinking to myself, "Wow... maybe I'm wrong."

....suffice to say, it was not a position I wanted to be in.

And so, Peter. Peter was out in the boat with the other disciples when Jesus came out to them on the water. And Peter, quickly realizing the connection between this story and "the loaves", asks Jesus to ask him to come to Him on the water. Jesus does, and Peter steps out on faith and walks on water.

He walked on freaking water.

.....though I didn't ask for it, this article- this stupid story that will be buried in a moment's time, with its unprovable claims and incendiary nature - this, to me, was asking God to ask me to go to Him on the water. Ye of little faith, why did you doubt? ....Why did I doubt?

What I came to remember was that all the historical evidence for Jesus Christ's life, death, and resurrection was not why I believed in Him. It may have bolstered my faith as time has gone on, but I don't believe in Christ because of the hisorical evidence presented to me. The foundation of my faith, the reason I believe in Jesus Christ, is because I'm alive today. I believe in Jesus Christ because at several moments in time, something unexplainable happened to me. I believe in Jesus Christ because I have felt His presence and His love. You ask me how I know He lives? ...He lives within my heart.

At Confirmation class that evening, we read Hebrews 11. Hebrews 11 talks about all these people who lived their life by faith, suffering many hardships along the way. Here's the money quote: "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised." (Hebrews 11:39) The author here points out what might not seem obvious at first glance: all the great leaders in the Bible lived their life by faith even though they had no practical reason to do so. They lived their lives by faith and still did not see, even as they lay dying, what God had promised them would happen.

As I've mentioned before, I've been reading through the Old Testament a lot. Habakkuk was up recently, and I found this verse to be poignant:

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” ~ Habakkuk 3:17-18

...even when there is no hope, Habakkuk is like the other Old Testament heroes - he trusts in his God, his Savior. That's how I want to live my life. I want to live knowing that I won't always understand and see the end goal. I want to live trusting even when it doesn't make sense. I want to work toward what God asks of me, even if I won't see the benefits of it. I am a life that was changed, and nothing can destroy that- just like nothing could change Peter, or Habakkuk, or the author of Hebrews.

They walked by faith. I want to as well.

Postscript:
You should read through the comments of that NYT article. They're fascinating... and sad.

The Real Thing

2007-02-07T19:24:00.000-05:00

I am a West Wing fan, almost more than a fan. If I could buy one that looked professional, I would get a "Bartlet for America" bumper sticker and slap it on my car, and I don't even like bumper stickers. I'd lobby for the repeal of the 22^nd Amendment so he could run again (albeit fictionally). I'd want to be a part of that administration.

I am also, quixotically, an Apple fan. I have read the entire history of the origins of the Macintosh at Folklore.org, I have sat amazed at the introduction of the Macintosh in 1984, I have even watched The Pirates of Silicon Valley and the 1997 Boston Macworld Expo keynote speech. I read about Apple and Macintosh news, scan Macintosh-oriented blogs, investigate Macintosh software and hardware. ::sigh:: I don't even own a Macintosh.

But even more than either of these, I am a fan of Jesus Christ. I will praise His name until the day I die, I will go the tallest mountain or the lowest valley to proclaim His glory, He has but to call and I would answer. It it only because of Him that I am alive, and His love and grace are what keeps me going.

I've been watching Season Four of The West Wing, and read something yesterday that caused me to stop, pause, and think about each of these things of which I am a fan and how they relate to one another. Why do I get so worked up about each of them? Why do I spend my free time thinking about politics, or Apple, or my faith? What I came to realize was that my fascination with them is that they embody the same virtue. Or, rather, the first two echo the virtue of the third.

Whether it's Josiah Bartlet or Steve Jobs, or the cultures surrounding them, their single most valuable virtue is their ultimate and infinite reality. And I don't mean that in a small way, I mean that in a big way - they are completely real, completely open with who they are and what they believe. They might not always be 100% honest and forthcoming, but they're never trying to be someone they're not. They are, in short, "the real thing."

In The West Wing, this shows up in a dramatic way. At the beginning of Season Two, we're shown flashbacks into the early days of the Bartlet campaign, before the campaign even began. We're shown how Josh is originally working for Hoynes, and we already know a bit about his character by then. On his way to see Governor Bartlet, Josh stops over to see Sam in New York. As the conversation wraps up...

---------------

JOSH
It's good seeing you.

SAM
It's good seeing you. I miss you.

They start to walk in separate directions.

JOSH
Hey, congratulations on that partnership.

SAM
Josh!

They turn and face each other.

SAM
Hoynes. He's not the real thing, is he?

JOSH
See, that- ...the thing you gotta know about Hoynes is-- [approaches him]

SAM
It's okay.

JOSH
I-I'm saying--

SAM
Josh..... What are you doing?

JOSH
I don't know. What are you doing?

SAM
Protecting oil companies from litigation.

Josh nods.

SAM
They're our client. They don't lose legal protection because they make a lot of money.

JOSH
I can't believe no one ever wrote a folk song about that.

Sam grins.

JOSH
If I see the real thing in Nashua, should I tell you about it?

SAM
You won't have to.

JOSH
Why?

SAM
You've got a pretty bad poker face.

---------------

Josh then goes to Nashua, NH, where he hears this exchange between Governor Bartlet and a man in the audience:

---------------

MAN
Governor Bartlet, when you were a member of Congress, you voted against the New England Dairy Farming Compact. That vote hurt me sir. I'm a businessman. That vote hurt me to the tune of maybe, 10 cents a gallon. I voted for you three times for Congress. I voted for you twice for Governor.

We see Josh again, still reading the newspaper.

MAN
And I'm here sir, and I'd like to ask you for an explanation.

BARTLET
[pause] Yeah, I screwed you on that one.

Josh looks up, surprised.

MAN
I'm sorry?

BARTLET
I screwed you. You got hosed.

MAN
Sir, I...

BARTLET
And not just you. A lot of my constituents. I put the hammer to farms in Concord, Salem, Laconia, and Elem.

Josh looks really shocked and is now watching Bartlet.

BARTLET
You guys got rogered but good.

The man sits down.

BARTLET
Today, for the first time in history, one in five Americans living in poverty are children.

We see a still surprised Josh.

BARTLET
One in five children live in the most abject, dangerous, hopeless, backbreaking, gut-wrenching poverty, one in five, and they're children. If fidelity to freedom and democracy is the code of our civic religion then surely, the code of our humanity is faithful service to that unwritten commandment that says "We shall give our children better than we ourselves had." I voted against the bill 'cause I didn't want it to be hard for people to buy milk. I stopped some money from flowing into your pocket. If that angers you, if you resent me, I completely respect that, but if you expect anything different from the President of the United States, I suggest you vote for somebody else. Thanks very much. Hope you enjoyed the chicken.

The audience applauds. Josh claps too.

---------------

Just reading it now, my eyes begin to water.

Here is a politician that risks his political career for his morals. He is willing to sacrifice public opinion for what is right. He's not even doing it because he thinks it'll play well- he's saying it because he actually means it. In the next episode, we see Josh going back to see Sam in New York.

---------------

MR. GAGE
Sam!

Josh knocks on the window, causing Sam to look over to him. Josh is pretty much just standing there, looking really wet and vaguely... prophetic.

MR. GAGE
Sam.

Sam can't take his eyes off of Josh.

FEMALE LAWYER
Sam, we're in the middle of a meeting.

SAM
Yeah.

MR. LOCH
Sam, we're not indifferent to the concerns of the environmentalists... Excuse
me, Sam?

Josh points to his non-poker-playing face.

SAM
Yeah.

MR. LOCH
It doesn't quite feel like I have your attention.

SAM
Yeah.

Josh is still pointing to his face, smiles and nods slowly, Sam laughs.

SAM
Yeah! Yeah.

He shuffles his papers, then pulling away from them.

SAM
I'm not going to need that.

MR. GAGE
Sam? Sam! Sam, please keep your seat! Sam, where are you going?

Sam gets up from the table and walks to the door. Josh opens the door for him.

SAM
[shouts back] New Hampshire!

---------------

Why go to New Hampshire? What has Josh found? ....The Real Thing^® . Bartlet, throughout his presidency, strives to be The Real Thing. Compassionate, articulate, admirable, noble, just... but more important than any of these things: he is real. He doesn't say what he says in order to please anyone in particular, he says what he thinks, what he truly believes. He's real.

So is Steve Jobs. Lots of people have varying opinions of the man, but being a historian in part, I strive to find as many primary sources as I can to assemble an image in my head of who he is. I invite you to do so as well. Search for his quotes, his speeches, his interviews, stories about him, etc. (Fake Steve doesn't count). Folklore.org is a great resource, partially because it tells a wonderful story, but also because it gives you a much more rounded view of Steve Jobs' character than you might read from any of the unauthorized biographies.

One of the most distinct features of Steve Jobs is his "reality distortion field." To quote those who experienced it firsthand: "In his presence, reality is malleable. He can convince anyone of practically anything." Some have chalked this up to him being an amazing salesman; that he could sell screen doors to the Navy, that sort of thing. But I have long suspected that this wasn't true, and blogger John Gruber put it this way last fall:

Jobs’s extraordinary marketing savvy and famed reality distortion field leave some people with the impression that he’s a talented fabulist. That’s wrong, though — Jobs, in my opinion, is a terrible liar and a poor actor. When he’s able to convince people of things that aren’t true, or that are exaggerations of the truth, it’s because he believes what’s he saying. The reality distortion field isn’t something he projects willfully; it’s an extension of his own certainty. Remember his on-stage demo last year of the Motorola Rokr iTunes-compatible phone? His contempt for the device was palpable; when he failed to successfully switch from song playback to accept a call, he seemed poised to just toss the thing off-stage and cry out that it was a piece of garbage.

If he struck you as at least somewhat unenthusiastic on-stage at WWDC, I say it’s because he was unenthusiastic, because he really couldn’t bring himself to be happy about showing these Leopard features that aren’t ready to be shown.

I really couldn't have put it better myself (probably because I'm not a full-time technology blogger). Jobs is clearly someone who doesn't like to sacrifice what he thinks for what he feels people want to hear. He is creative, inventive, and most of all, real. Bill Gates has made some statements in random interviews about digital rights management (DRM), and they might have been genuine, but by posting an open letter yesterday about DRM and saying:

The third alternative is to abolish DRMs entirely. Imagine a world where every online store sells DRM-free music encoded in open licensable formats. In such a world, any player can play music purchased from any store, and any store can sell music which is playable on all players. This is clearly the best alternative for consumers, and Apple would embrace it in a heartbeat.

Steve Jobs, well... sounds convincing. His argument is thoughtful and eloquent and, wouldn't you know it, believable. I'm not quite sure what it is, but when I hear Bill Gates talking about DRM, I'm not sure if I believe him. I'm more likely to believe he's just saying it to win favor with a segment of consumers. After reading about the original Macintosh and seeing its introduction, I can see reality itself in Jobs. He's not putting on a show for anybody, he's The Real Thing.

When Christ was here on earth, there was something obviously different about Him. In Matthew, Jesus approaches two life-long fishermen. Jesus walks beside them, says, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." At once, they left their nets and followed him. At once. Then He came across two more, and a similar situation takes place: he called to them, and immediately they left their boats to follow him. In the same way, Jesus called to Matthew the tax collector, and he followed Jesus. These men, and others like them, gave up everything they had ever known (some, like Matthew, living quite successfully), to follow this "Jesus" guy. This "Yeshua bin Yosef", son of a carpenter from Hicksville Nazareth. Why? What was it about Him that made them drop everything for Him? My suspicion for a while now has been that there must've been something different about Jesus that got their attention, something that caught their eyes and shouted out, "I am The Real Thing^®. I want what's best for you and I can even see inside your hearts... you yearn for The Real Thing, and I am The Ultimate Reality. Follow Me."

As my banner states, "These are a shadow of things to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ." (Colossians 2:17) I contemplated several themes and ideas about what to call this blog, but one idea that kept coming back to me was the concept of "shadows", used by C.S. Lewis often in both his novels and Christian books. In The Chronicles of Narnia (specifically The Last Battle), the "shadowlands" are used to describe the physical worlds in which we live. The "true" lands are their Heavenly equivalents. In short, everything in this world is merely a shadow of things in Heaven. That some of the feelings we have are only based on Heavenly feelings, that things exist in a sort of shallow way here on Earth, only to echo to what is true and real in Heaven.

This past Sunday, the sermon at church was on "Thin Places." These, the pastor described, are places or things in your life that allow you to see God. Almost as if there was a curtain between here and Heaven, a sort of sheer curtain of rippled glass that, at places, had spots in it where you could see through to Heaven clearer. I believe that there are really physical places here that are like that, but also believe that experiences, emotions, and relationships serve the same purpose. They can, at times, allow us to see clearly through the curtain toward Heaven, toward what God had originally intended for us to have and experience.

So why do I like President Bartlet and the other characters of The West Wing? Why do I admire Steve Jobs and Apple? It's not because they're saints, but rather because they, at more times and in more ways than many other things, echo that which seems to be Heavenly. All the good qualities which I see in them, I see even stronger in Heaven.

But, they are merely shadows. It is nice to admire Bartlet and Jobs, but why settle for the sizzle and not the steak? The Reality, The Real Thing^®, is Christ Himself. Let's seek that and put it on a bumper sticker.

Postscript:
The image above, with the iMac G4 bowing in front of the cross, is used without permission from the Christian Mac Users Group, CMUG. I'll contact them at some point soon and ask for permission.

Some Things I Learned From Working At Dunkin' Donuts

2007-01-29T22:14:00.000-05:00

As you may know, I spent a year out in Ohio and while I was there, I worked at a nearby Dunkin' Donuts to start to pay down my student loans. Looking back, I'm not even sure what motivated me to start working there aside from the fact that it was less than five minutes from our apartment and offered more than minimum wage. Oh, and I like coffee. Anyway... I started working there and was one of the few employees to still be there a year later. It was the first "real" job I had, and was fascinating on a number of levels, but I won't go into all of that now. For now, I'll just say that last May when I ceased my employment there I decided it'd be good for me to write down a list of things I'd learned throughout my year of working there. I wanted to do this for a couple of reasons: for one, it seemed like a good way of convincing myself that I hadn't "wasted" a year by not doing something else with my life. By making a list of things I'd learned over the past year, it showed that it wasn't a completely useless experience. After all, I filled a need, and I did it well; I was a servant in one of the lowest and most humble senses of the word. It was almost like a cultural experiment in a way. ....Another reason I wanted to make this list was to show that, while I worked my butt off, I had fun sometimes. I can't tell you how frustrated I was, especially toward the end, but... but it was fine. It really wasn't that hard of a job at all, despite the complaints and verbal abuse. Anyway... here goes. Enjoy.

Some things I’ve learned from working at Dunkin Donuts...
For good or ill ~

If a family of Benevolent Consumers comes seeking a particular Confectionary Delight of which we are sold out, a good parent is one that suggests an alternative to their child. A bad parent is one who yells at the underpaid/overworked confectionary peon for what is almost beyond a doubt not their fault.
Sold out means sold out. It doesn’t mean that someone wasn’t necessarily doing their job and not ordering enough of something, it means sold out. It means that someone bought all of what we have. Is that then somehow the fault of the underpaid/overworked confectionary peon?
You never want to run out of your star product. If you sell coffee and you’re responsible for making it, you need to, well, make it. Hands down, that should be your responsibility and priority.
High schoolers/teenagers these days are indeed different from myself when I was in high school. Apparently, what’s in fashion nowadays with this age group is to ~~act~~ be irresponsible and expect to get paid for doing nothing. Despite your indignation, whoever’s calling you or texting you on your cell phone has no right to do so, and you have no right to respond. You are working. Which leads us to…
You are getting paid for doing work. Let us go over this once again. The Benevolent Consumers give our Great Employer money in exchange for goods and services. Our Great Employer in turn gives us underpaid/overworked confectionary peons money in exchange for our labor. If you’re not working, you shouldn’t expect to get paid, plain and simple.
I had not known until working at this job that needing to smoke was some sort of excuse for not doing your job, that it’s some sort of natural right. Smoking is like any other vice: do it on your off time, not when you’re working. What would you say if I had to go have a drink every hour? Or drugs? “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go take five minutes and sniff some glue. I’ll be right back.”
If you come seeking a particular Confectionary Delight of which we do not have, and drive away in a huff (or otherwise berate the underpaid/overworked confectionary peon), you have bigger issues than simply not getting your particular Confectionary Delight; i.e. - If not getting a donut is going to ruin your day, you have a deeper issue.
It’s fun to joke about and all, but if you really need your Caffeinated Beverage before you start to think for the day, you’ve got a serious problem.
Inspections, by any sort of Higher-Ups, are a complete waste of time and energy. You know why? Because they know you cleaned everything up special for them- jees, were they born yesterday? There’s no doubt that you should always try and do your best, keep the store its cleanest, etc., but to clean it up in anticipation for an inspection seems so foolish- they know you’re going to fudge things so they look right. Let’s just all be transparent about it, and let the chips fall where they may. Why isn’t that counter clean? Because we’re getting to it, it’s on the list. So is everything else. We know what to do, we’re working on it.
Big corporations aren’t nearly what they’re cracked up to be. If they can’t even manage routine maintenance of their stores (machines working properly, sinks actually draining, etc.), then how can you believe they manage their money properly? All the shareholders should go and interview store managers and underpaid/overworked confectionary peons to see how efficient the company’s really being.
Computer software designed for POS terminals are really that, POS. If I had the programming skills, I’d design an interface that’s ten times as good as what is currently in use. Why is it that the pictures for the “up” and “down” arrows can have intricately designed icons that are carefully beveled/lit, and yet some items/submenus have obviously been designed by a two-year old; why do some buttons exist as thin rectangles with a small vertical height? If the button is smaller than your finger, it’s harder to touch it, and makes things that much harder for the underpaid/overworked confectionary peon. At least some adherence to Fitts’ Law would be nice. Oh, and 32MB of RAM? You’ve got to be kidding me. The last time a consumer machine was sold with 32 MB of RAM was 1998. Way to go, Radiant Systems.
It’s bad to outsource your tech support. We used two different companies, and neither of them knew what they were doing: their frequent solution was to reboot the computer and see what happens, and then they’d send out a tech in a [read: two to three ] day[s]. I guarantee it’d be more efficient to have your own IT support that knew what they were doing and could help a store much more personally. After all, how hard is it to use Remote Desktop and see what’s going on with the system yourself? And while we’re at it, modernization needs to happen quickly. Aside from the “lack of RAM in the terminals” issue, no one should be relying on DOS-based programs anymore. You can’t even copy/paste between programs! You have to re-type everything! What a complete waste of time and money. There’s no reason why even Excel can’t keep track of all the data you need and export it to various formats/layouts. It’s something an Apple Automator workflow could do, and that’s consumer-level stuff. What a sad, sad waste.
Choice, contrary to popular belief, actually breeds dissatisfaction, not more satisfaction. An abundance of choices means an abundance of products that we might, and often do, sell out of. I’m sorry you can’t get your medium decaf caramel crème latte with skim milk and whipped cream and an everything bagel lightly toasted with veggie cream cheese on the side, but we’re out of veggie cream cheese. I know, I know, tragedy. I’m sorry.
Contrary to popular belief, Benevolent Consumers do not know everything. They do not know when shipments come in, what’s on them, or other such Inner Workings of the store. It boggles my mind how some Benevolent Consumers have this imaginary store in their mind of what we are and then judge us according to this fictitious store. When I’ve been in a situation where I’ve been a Benevolent Consumer, I have never assumed such things as I’ve seen others assume all the time. I’m sorry, sir, but you don’t know how things work here, and I would never go to your place of business and assume how things are run/work.
A current job can be a good place to get your next job. In my time at Dunkin’ Donuts, I received about three or four job offers, just because of the way I treated my customers, just because of my personality.
The customer is not always right.

Just take a minute to really take that in.

We, as a society, have somehow gotten this notion that a Benevolent Consumer should always get what they want, at any cost. I think we’ve lost something in this culture where we don’t want to offend anyone, and have lost the feeling of cooperative teaching of our past, where elders were able to rebuke children of the community and constructive criticism was welcomed. Why is it that now we’re so afraid of our mistakes that we go to the lengths of making ourselves right, even when we’re not? Can we not admit our own faults in front of each other? Can we not simply say, “Oh, you’re right, I was wrong” anymore?

…at any rate, it seemed to happen few and far between in my time at Dunkin’ Donuts. More often than not, customers would be wrong about a particular issue, and I’d have to apologize for it, as if it were my mistake. And they expected me to do so. That bothered me, and not just out of minor annoyance: it seemed like a symptom of a greater problem, a glimpse of a cultural disease that has burrowed itself so deep that we barely even notice it anymore.

But… but we are sinful, fallen creatures. And we need to realize/remember that. We need to admit it to each other- that we make mistakes, that we’re not perfect. That is who we are: beings who make mistakes, but nevertheless still strive for perfection… and we need each other along the way: to build up, and to tear down if need be.
We all need Jesus a whole lot more than I ever realized. I came across so many people who… who never smiled, day after day… who always yelled at their children… who were never satisfied at what we had to offer… who seemed to strive to find fault with whatever I did… who looked tired and beat-up from the world… who had obviously lost hope and have given in to bitterness and, as Lewis calls it, “the sulks”… ….and they all needed Jesus so badly. And the more I encountered them, the more I wished I could show Him to them. …but it didn’t seem like I did a good job. :-(
Everybody should be a Morning Person. It just makes the world a happier place. :-) In case such a rule cannot be carried out, it should at least hold true of people who work in businesses whose main income is through morning activities. Why are you even working in the morning if you can’t think clearly? If all we see is your worst, why bother working? Work at a job where you can do your best.

As a corollary to this rule, I suppose, employees of any business should actually enjoy what they sell; I was one of the few people working at Dunkin’ Donuts who actually enjoyed coffee.
Tipping is not an obligatory task for the “quick-serve restaurant” business. Now, tipping has always boggled my mind, but I found it fascinating that Benevolent Consumers would come through, order many things that I personally made, and then would feel no obligation to leave a tip for me. The money isn’t the issue; I could care less about fifty cents here or there. It’s the principle. Why is tipping obligated in a sit-down restaurant but in almost no other service industry? If I receive personal service/advice at an electronics store or a hardware store, I don’t feel any obligation to tip them, and they don’t expect it, and yet if I go and sit down to eat somewhere and don’t leave a tip, I’m seen as rude. Does this make any sense? I never expected people to tip me when I was at Dunkin’ Donuts, and yet people did, often. And you know what? They did it because they wanted to, because they enjoyed my service and wanted to show some sort of gratitude. That’s how tipping should be for any industry.
There are some really weird people out there. And many of them have little to no social skills. I wouldn’t consider myself outgoing, but compared to a lot of the Benevolent Consumers I served, I was exceedingly suave and charismatic. I don’t need to hear stories about your urinary tract infection, thank you, nor do I want to hear about how you’re going to get plastered tonight. Who shares this kind of information, anyway? Weird Benevolent Consumers, that’s who.
I’ve also learned that a lot of people are just really very lonely, and that’s why they share personal information about their urinary tract infection. There are so many of us out there that are so disconnected from each other that we’re grasping for straws, searching for anyone that will listen to us, anyone that will seem to care, that will show us some personal attention for even a few minutes. It seems to be yet another sign that we’re too isolated in our current society. The system’s just not working. We don’t do anything together anymore, we don’t… we don’t know how to be so honest with each other, how to be so intimate, and that’s why we reach out to each other by sharing random personal information with strangers: because maybe… maybe they’ll care, maybe someone will care, maybe someone will invest something in me, in my life, maybe there’ll be friendship… etc.

….it shows me that we, as humans, have a need to connect with one another, to share the human experience with one another.
There are people out there who have no regard for others. I have seen underpaid/overworked confectionary peons treated with such malice as to make my blood boil, and have often been at the receiving end of it, and yet these Benevolent Consumers didn’t think anything of it. They want things their way now, with no regard as to how it affects you or anyone else. People would sit in the drive-thru at rush hour and ask us to list all the donuts we had in our case. They’d order complex things while five cars waited behind them, Poor Souls just waiting to get a Caffeinated Beverage and a Confectionary Delight before their daily drudgery. These people have come through drive-thru at rush hour and casually order seven dozen donuts, without regard to how it might affect workers and other Benevolent Consumers alike, and they have come inside, complained about how they’re overworked, and then order twelve dozen donuts and expect it to not phase me. People have also said such biting things to me, berated me for things that aren’t my fault, and, once again, not considered that they themselves might be at fault. ::sigh::… we are a broken people…
Your job is only as fun as you make it; it is only a burden if you make it out to be. Some people claimed that work had become “a drag” after they were made to, you know, work. But it doesn’t have to be so. Conversations about which donut would win in a fight, belting out Disney songs at 6AM, patting each other with powdered-sugared hands… it made times worthwhile, it made them enjoyable. You don’t have to give in to the “grind” unless you want do.
Capitalism isn’t just about making money, it’s about making more money. The stock market judges businesses on growth, not solely on profit. It took me a while to realize it, but now I see it for how ridiculous it is. A company can be making a lot of money, it can be making a huge profit, but if a company isn’t growing, it’s stock declines, people don’t invest. It’s sad, but mostly true.

As an addendum to this rule: businessmen are snakes. See, they’re not out just to get your money. No, they’re out to get more of your money. They’re constantly thinking, “How can we increase our profits? How can we get more money out of the pockets of the people and into our coffers?” …and out of this comes things like this: when I started working, we had two sizes of milkshakes, a “regular” for $3.19 and a “large” for $4.19. After a time, word came that we were changing things and going to “small”, “medium”, and “large” sizes. The prices were thus increased, the price for a “medium” (the old “large”) was to $4.39. Price increases happen, I realize, but the trick was this: the explanation of size modifications was that many people would not opt for the new large size (at a price of $5.19), but more would now get a medium than they would have when it was the “large.” And, now they were earning more because of the price increase, to boot. The snakes.
A company that can’t even be consistent with itself is doomed to stay in a rut/fail.

On the machine that dispenses it, it’s called “hot chocolate.” On the bag of said product, it’s called “hot cocoa”, and on the order form its “hot chocolate.”

On the box of these, they’re called “sprinkles,” the brand on them is even “Sprinkle King,” the very donut’s name is “Sprinkles” and yet what’s on the order form? The ill-fitting (and sounding) Massachusetts’ term of “jimmies.” [it’s someone’s name, not a thing, people]. Consistency matters- it sets a clear tone for Great Employers, underpaid/overworked confectionary peons, and Benevolent Consumers alike.
Grammar and word choice is very important and apparently other people don’t realize it yet.

The world greatly suffers from misplaced modifiers; the term “senior coffee” makes no sense. Is it a specially-aged brew? Is it a certain way of making coffee that seniors particularly like? Oh, it means you have a senior discount. Hmm. [sarcasm] Well, that makes sense grammatically. [end sarcasm]

A “chocolate chocolate” donut tells me nothing except that you might be stuttering and is not in any way to be construed as the correct term for a “double chocolate” donut, etc.

A “manager’s special” donut is not a specific type of donut that Dunkin’ Donuts carries. It’s a… [wait for it] ….special. That’s right, it might change tomorrow, and you should never expect a “manager’s special” to be the same from day to day or from store to store.

“Regular” does not and shall never refer to “cream and sugar.” Ever. Regular has always meant “non-decaf” everywhere I’ve ever been, and it’s awfully presumptuous to assume that most people like both cream and sugar in equal amounts in their coffee and that everyone that doesn’t is some sort of abnormality, some irregularity.

While you, oh Benevolent Consumers, may fall victim to branding techniques, believe me when I say that stores have different names for things. Call it a “café mocha” if you like, but it is a mocha latte, regardless. (As a random aside, “mocha” is a flavor, it’s not a name for a drink, so don’t ask for it that way. After all, you don’t ask for “a caramel,” or “a French Vanilla,” do you?). It’s not a Croissanwich, we’re not McDonald’s. Don’t try and argue with me when I call it by its appropriate name of “Coffee Roll”, it’s still a cinnamon bun/roll, I’m just trying to educate you. Oh, and for the last time, none of our frosted donuts are glazed, which brings us to…

Glaze. A noun. 2 a (1) : a liquid preparation applied to food on which it forms a firm glossy coating… b : a transparent or translucent color…
…as everything in the world defines it, a glaze is a glossy, clear coating. Glazed donuts, it is generally understood, have this clear coating on them. It makes sense then, would it not, that a “chocolate glazed” would also have this clear coating? Therefore, if you ask for a “chocolate glazed,” receive one, and then are taken aback that it does not have chocolate frosting on it, you need to think about what you’re saying. If you’re going to use glaze and frosting interchangeably, you’re wrong! They are not interchangeable, they mean different things! Icing and frosting can be the same things, that’s fine, but a glaze is different, and that should be obvious. And don’t make your grammatical error my fault, as if it’s me who’s wrong or stupid or something. Then again, I sort of understand your confusion at times, because as we’ve point out before, Dunkin’ Donuts isn’t exactly consistent. On the tub of it, it’s called “maple dipping icing.” Icing. Okay. Naturally, you would draw the conclusion that the name of the donuts with said “icing” would be called “maple iced.” But you’d be wrong. They’re “maple frosted.” Whose screw-up is that? Consistency, consistency, consistency.

We have too many words in the English language that mean the same thing, and not enough to distinguish between different things. The icing/frosting debacle as an example of the former. The issues between “light cream cheese” and “lite cream cheese” being an example of the latter. (one last rant about naming – why is it called an “old fashioned”, and yet with chocolate frosting it becomes “chocolate-frosted cake”? Shouldn’t the plain cake donut just be “cake” or the frosted one be “chocolate-frosted old fashioned”? Man.)
It is quite possible to spend over a year moving dirt around and actually accomplish nothing. There was massive construction across the road from our store, and yet in the year that I worked there, I didn’t notice a single change in the landscape, besides a lot of dust.
The War on Drugs in this country is at least active, if nothing else; there were five drug busts in our parking lot in three months.
We like confidence. It’s something that we expect from others, and we should try and expand in ourselves. Benevolent Consumers expect to deal with confident employees, and honestly, I couldn’t stand dealing with squirrelly customers. Just speak up, sir, and tell me what you want. Mumbling is not an option, just state your business and be done.
Sometimes your Great Employer might ask you to lie.

Don’t. They shouldn’t. It doesn’t feel right, and is not a kind of foundation on which we should construct our society.
Some of the most sympathetic people are those with similar jobs as yourself- other fast foot people were usually the most congenial and understanding.
When it comes to choosing icing colors for an ice cream cake, some people have no sense of color coordination. Maybe there are just a lot of people who are color-blind.
I had some sort of notion beforehand, but… but wow, I really understand now: the wages in this country are woefully inadequate to provide for anyone. I worked over 40 hours most weeks, and my legs were so tired from standing all day that when I got home and on the weekends, I’d do anything I could to avoid standing. I worked my butt off, and there was no way I could’ve supported myself if it had come to that. I would’ve had to work two full-time jobs to make ends meet, and I can’t even begin to imagine how tired I would be, not to mention having no time for anything else. I… I can’t imagine how single parents feel, trying to balance two low-paying jobs and spending as much time with their kids as they can. It’s a terrible system.
I have seen the hours before 4 AM, and they are not pretty.
Most of the frustrations in the world stem from poor design: good design really matters. I can’t do justice to all the problems we faced because someone didn’t consider how a certain appliance/surface/workspace would be actually used. The drainage system was a joke and would constantly overflow as a result, some of the appliances seldom worked consistently and often worked erratically, water pressure was nonexistent, the drive-thru suffered from a terribly sharp curve, storage space in the back would have been greatly improved by even a foot expansion in every direction, tight spaces abounded where it made much more sense to make them wider, the list goes on and on. Why does this one lever break? Because it wasn’t designed for everyday use, of course, and has gotten more work than it was intended to. Why does this mop bucket constantly frustrate us? Because in the two hundred years of mop buckets, apparently no one who made one has actually used one.

I have a feeling that things used to be designed better, that the things which used to give convenience to life in older times actually did aid life: now, it seems like modern “conveniences” seldom are that, and usually add to frustrations rather than detract from them.

Atmosphere is a part of the design process. Dunkin’ Donuts was obviously trying to compete with Starbucks on several levels, but what they didn’t seem to realize was how their design hindered them. The store was too antiseptic, too bland. They had these nice warm tones of purple and orange, such great signature colors, that they then made cold and unwelcoming. The store was frequented by blue-collar workers and white collar workers alike, but it seemed like the white-collar group treated it more as a necessary evil, as if Dunkin’ Donuts was closer and more convenient, but probably wasn’t the same caliber as Starbucks, Panera, Brueggers, etc. I suppose they probably made a good balance between the two kinds of customers, but there were no comfy chairs, no carpets, no events that “coffeehouses” thrive on. It wasn’t somewhere that I’d want to stay and sit and have a cup of coffee or read a book (and thus spend more money), and I think they need to realize that.
People make random, short-term gambling trips to Atlantic City and return at 5 AM and, presumably, go to work shortly thereafter. Weird. I wonder if their employers know.
Marketing should be closely aligned with reality. Unfortunately, it usually isn’t. Marketing for the Dunkin’ brand was outsourced, I believe, rather than done internally by either the Dunkin’ corporate people or our own franchise corporation. Thus, what would happen is that we would have promotions that wouldn’t be advertised until it was almost over or was over. Then customers would tell us of the commercial that they just heard, and we’d have to honor whatever request it was. How foolish. Can no one coordinate that kind of thing? And who designed the $2 gift certificates for Baskin Robbins? They don’t fit in the registers! You have to fold them twice! Is it that hard to make it the size of a bill, like the Dunkin’ gift certificates? ….marketing, ::sigh::…
I can do a 10 hour shift without a break, though with severe tiredness in my legs the day after. I can do 8 hour shifts without a break consistently, but my legs still hurt. They haven’t felt rested for a year now.
People don’t listen, and cell phones are destroying human interaction. Benevolent Consumers would come through drive-thru all the time (and sometimes inside, too) and not listen to a word you said because they were too busy talking on their cell phones.
You can find some of the most happy and encouraging things in the smallest packages. Like friendly Benevolent Consumers and their comments, smiles, etc.
Strawberry Dipping Icing is a shade of pink unknown to nature.
Parents are an interesting bunch. They can be extremely overprotective, even when they have no logical reason to be so. They also seem to put the considerations of their children, however minute or beneficiary to them in the long run, above anybody else. In short, they spoil their children at the expense of the overworked/underpaid confectionary peons or whoever else is in their path. Once, a woman was extremely upset at us because she had left her credit card with us, and we couldn’t get it for ten minutes. She was overly-agitated because, she said, her son was starving. She was, of course, taking him to the Waffle House down the street, she said. Wow. First of all, you’re at a restaurant, and fine, if you want more substantial food then maybe I could understand, but… but you lost me when you said “Waffle House.” I feel bad for your kid, lady.
Drive-thru speakers really are as bad as they’re always made out to be. Sometimes they’d work fine, but more often than not they’re hard to hear out of, they’re hard to speak into, and they’re a poor facsimile for actual communication.
Common sense is not common sense to all people. Oh, how I’ve learned that is true.
I’ve learned that we are very much creatures of habit, and that you can become identified with your habit, whether you like it or not. [Coffee cake muffin lady, medium cream and two Equals, medium Caramel latte extra extra caramel, etc.]
As if it hasn’t come through clearly enough yet, I’ve found that humans are communal beings. We like to be in community with one another, we are sensitive and desire affirmation… we want encouragement in our jobs, to know that we’re doing something well and worthwhile. Things can offend us, and we might shrug them off, but down inside we don’t want to shrug it off, it bothers and festers because what we want is to know that we’re doing some good in this world, that we’re contributing something to it.
There are people in this world who don’t want to do their best at their job. It eludes me. If you’re not going to do your best, why even bother showing up?
Upselling is one of the most annoying things imaginable. When I’ve been a Benevolent Consumer, I hate it and see right through it, so why should I attempt it when I’m an underpaid/overworked confectionary peon? It clearly annoys virtually everyone, and for what benefit? To make another dollar or two? And in the process annoy your Benevolent Consumers? Way to go Great Employer, great advice.
Everyone has the potential to be a leader. Some people have more than others, but everyone has the potential to lead others, if nothing else than by example.
A few things about leadership:

Leaders don’t blow things off. They do what’s expected of them and more. If they don’t do any more than those that serve them, how are they leaders? Who are they leading? A case of the blind leading the blind?
A mark of a good leader is one who is still willing to serve, even to those “beneath” him. If a leader isn’t willing to do the dirty jobs, they’re just a high-paid priss.
Delegation is important, and unfortunately micro-managing is sometimes necessary. You should avoid it, though, by…
A leader should try and help others become leaders. You shouldn’t be worried about job security: your job is to help everyone else to become the best they can be. A knight and nine squires isn’t as powerful as ten knights, you know? You should try and nurture the leadership capabilities in others…
…keeping in mind, of course, that there must always be a mixture of those willing to lead and willing to serve. Sometimes, the roles might be reversed, but you can’t have a group composed only of leaders or only of servants.
Initiative and ambition can be both curses and blessings. Initiative can be helpful by shepherding people along the path to leadership. Unfortunately, its usual result is pride. Too much ambition and authority result in pride and, therefore, arrogance.
It’s hard to guide those that drown in apathy. :-(
Leaders should never ask you to do something that goes against your moral judgment. Feeling uncomfortable with a task is one thing: pushing your comfort zone is usually an important step in the leadership path. However, being asked to lie or falsify records, etc. is just wrong, and shouldn’t be expected of you. You are called to higher purposes, and integrity is more important than loyalty, always.

Loyalty, on the other hand, I’ve found is extremely important as well. We like loyalty in ourselves and each other- people have brand loyalty to Dunkin Donuts, we have loyalty to certain people or TV shows or any number of things, and we do it because we… we like being recognized. We like loyalty because we like others to be loyal to us. That’s why “Cheers” was so identifiable and so popular: it was a place where people were loyal to each other, where everyone knew their names, where people were comfortable in companionship with one another. Sometimes, the sight of a loyal, friendly Benevolent Consumer is all it takes to brighten an overworked/underpaid confectionary peon’s day, and vice versa.

Snowy Pride

2007-01-29T14:22:00.000-05:00

On the heels of Philemon, I read another small book the other day, the account of the prophet Obadiah.

Mostly, what struck me as I was reading it was what the chapter conveyed about pride and why it's a sin. I find it very unfortunate and dangerous that pride as a sin is often misunderstood. How is it misunderstood? Well, because it seems that non-Christians often have this view of God as someone who never wants you to be happy with yourself: who, if He could, would go back in time and not create Man in the first place; that we are loathsome creatures and He ought not to have even thought of creating such filth. He's a God who never wants you to be happy and always wants you to remember how terrible you are.

This is, of course, completely wrong. But hey, it sounds good if you're going to blast Christianity. (As an aside, that's how you always make your case against something: position it as being something it doesn't come close to being, then rail against it. In the minds of atheists, that's how to prove God doesn't exist: create in your mind an idea of what you feel God should be, then talk about how He doesn't meet these expectations you just made up. Brilliant!) The truth: God wants us to be happy. He wants us to be joyful, elated, ecstatic. But, more than wanting us to be happy, He wants what's best for us.

Now, feeling good about ourselves is important for our self-esteem and general well-being. I'm fairly certain that God wants us to feel a sense of accomplishment and worth. But here's the kicker: He knows more than we do. Being the God of the Universe, He knows that a sense of worth and accomplishment is important, but what's more important is knowing who you are: of knowing your limits as a human. Here in Obadiah we read:

"The pride of your heart has deceived you... you who say to yourself, 'Who can bring me down to the ground?' "

Why is pride a sin? Because it deceives us into thinking that we're better/stronger/faster/wiser than we actually are. It deceives us into thinking that, perhaps, God isn't necessary after all. The Israelites were constantly running into this problem: God blesses them, they attribute their blessings to themselves, they start to think they don't need God, they act as if they don't need God, God shows them that they do need Him after all, and that all the success was only because of Him in the first place. Then they realize how much they do need God and they repent. The rest of Obadiah mentions other aspects in which too much of something that was intended to be good instead turns into something bad. (Justice is good, revenge is bad; victory is good, boasting is bad. C.S. Lewis talks about this often in his works.)

Confidence is a good thing. Self-worth is a good thing. But too much of these things turns into something that isn't confidence and isn't self-worth: it becomes pride in oneself that begins to think that God is not necessary for survival. Let us strive to learn the lessons explained so clearly throughout the Bible: He is.

Reading Obadiah was one thing, seeing the principle acted out in my life is another. The other night I was driving back from church to my apartment and the roads were terrible. For some reason, the plows hadn't been out, so it took me at least half-again as long to get back than it should have. I had to go very slowly, and came across two people in ditches. About halfway back here, the road was much better. The problem came when the opposite traffic flew by me going at full speed. Several cars and trucks, without too much distance between them, barreled right past me, not knowing that about a hundred yards in front of them the roads were going to change drastically and, if they didn't slow down now, they'd probably get in an accident. ...I flashed my bright lights at them, but I'm not sure if they took any sort of caution.

Since I haven't heard of a six-car pile-up, I'm assuming they made it safely to wherever they were going. But all I could think about as I was passing them was, "Hey! You don't understand! You think you'll be able to handle it, but you can't! If only you knew what you don't know!" .......that's what pride is. As another great cultural reference teaches us as well: our overconfidence in ourselves deceives us, and lures us into thinking we don't need God.

We do.

Apostle Paul of Tarsus = precedent for Steven Paul Jobs of Cupertino?

2007-01-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

So I was reading through the wee book of Philemon today. Now, it's not like I haven't read the book before, but that's why we continue to read the Bible throughout our lives, isn't it? To glean from it things we haven't noticed before, or to see things in a different light. So I came to the end of the book and, I kid you not, I almost spit coffee out onto my computer and Bible. For what was before my eyes? Could it really be a two thousand year-old tradition, established by the Apostle Paul and carried into the 20^th and 21^st centuries by Steven Paul Jobs, the Apostle of Apple? Well, you read it and decide:

"One thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers."

"One thing more?" "One more thing..."?

Uncanny!

...or not. I mean, I suppose the most logical explanation is that it's just good presentation. You set up a good letter/speech by using certain words, phrases, and meter to establish a tone in order to take your audience to the place you want them to be. Then, for effect, you "boom!" them; you shock them. It comes out of left field and gives them all something to look forward to. In this case, Paul sort of wags his finger at Philemon and almost orders him around. But after all that, he says, "Oh, and by the way, get a room ready for me. I'll be there in three weeks. See? I don't hate you, I still love you and you're still my brother. You thought I was mad at you? Pshaw. Regardless of what you decide to do with Onesimus, you are important to me, Philemon."

In my NIV Study Bible, a text note says, "Luther said, ‘Even as Christ did for us with God the Father, thus Paul also does for Onesimus with Philemon.’ " I find that pretty powerful. Paul could've ordered Philemon to do what was right (verse 5), but he didn't. Instead, he pleaded with him and, get this, leveraged his positive relationship with Philemon to help lead him [Philemon] in the direction of Christian growth. On the surface, the subject of this chapter would be the fate of Onesimus. But it's not. The real matter at stake here in Philemon is how we interact with our Christian brothers and sisters, especially when they're doing things that we don't feel is right. Don't judge, and don't conditionalize your love: show that you care and really want the best for the person involved, and remind them that no matter what happens, you love them.

One of the things I look forward to as I'm reading through my Bible now is the transition from the Old Testament to the New Testament. I've been working my way through the Minor Prophets (with a break today in reading Philemon) and they've really opened my eyes in a way the OT hasn't before. I've actually been reading the OT almost exclusively for the past two years or so, and it's been very interesting to see the theme of redemption repeated throughout. I just can't wait for Malachi (or, as you may pronounce it, muh-lah-chee). I can see it now: "God, these people are terrible!" "Tell me about it! Malachi, I want you to preach to these people about their sins and how much they need me. Oh, and one more thing..."

"And she shall bring forth a son; and thou shalt call his name Jesus; for it is he that shall save his people from their sins."

Postscript: Phil. 22 seems like a good verse from Apple's perspective, too, circa 1996. They weren't doing so hot, and there were some who believed that Jobs should have never left. Well, at the end of 1996 he returned, an answer to many a prayer.