Thursday, August 27, 2009


Even though I've written of it before, and in spite of me going through it many times and it already being a week after I've left, I'm still at a loss as to how to properly end the summer and my experience at Casowasco. Most have already moved on, I know, but as I've unpacked physically, I still feel the need to unpack emotionally. Frankly, I'm unsure of how to do that. In The Return of the King, Frodo feels a similar sentiment:

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand - there is no going back."

I realize that I'm probably the only one left dealing with it: the old fogey who doesn't have anything better to do than sit around and mourn the summer. Judging from Facebook statuses, that feels true. For several days, I just sat and looked at my bags and piles of papers and clothes, knowing that they needed to go back where they belonged, but not wanting to put them there. Most, I know, have rushed on to unpacking and repacking for college, moving in, and picking up jobs and friendships right where they left off in June.

And I can't help feeling as though that's a mistake, somehow. I feel like we don't have enough time to ponder and reflect as we ought to have, and that we're at a loss whenever we go through an experience and don't unpack it. I understand, appreciate, and agree with the sentiment that we should live in "today" and not dwell in the past; I get that. But I still long for a way to feel more closure with the summer camping experience.

I'm well aware that this is mainly a personal problem. I'm conscious enough of my surroundings to appreciate that most of my colleagues are grateful for a return to "normalcy", and are excited to be back in the swing of things wherever they are. And, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't partially as well.

But, I also know that camp is a transformative experience: we work and live together, cry and celebrate together, worship and grow together. Because of this, we cannot so easily detach from our "summer job" like our friends can; it's just not like that. It's deeper, it's more meaningful, it involves deep friendships and personal growth. It was life-changing.

So I guess I just wanted to take a few minutes and mentally unpack. Moving on is necessary and important - I guess I just hope that we all still take the time to appreciate what we've been through, acknowledge the changes that have happened within us, and allow God to lead us forward.